This is a Negativity Zone…
Right now I want to just curl up into a ball and cry my f#cking eyes out! I can’t do this!
I can’t even accomplish filling in the answers to a take home quiz…I crumpled up probably 8 sheets of paper before decided to use the bloody computer to save on trees. *sigh* I still don’t have it done! I can’t manage it…I got all of the third question done…Probably something wrong in it. Got the first part of question two done…Haven’t a clue what to do with the rest of it. And got the first two parts of question one done…I’m suppose to come up with examples from either real life situations or my own past writing to support my view that writing is an ongoing process. I can’t do it!
I read the essays…To what point, I don’t know. I don’t give a bloody damn about any of them…They mean nothing to me. I don’t care what their past experiences have taught them years after the fact. I couldn’t even relate to the mother who didn’t know what she was (what a mother was essentially…Aside from the fact that Martha Stewart sucks).
English was suppose to be the easy class…Well not easy, but the one I could do, the one I could feel confident in. Instead, I’ve spent…I don’t now how long agonizing over this quiz…Gave up to read the essays, which killed my brain cells…Only to return to the quiz and give up on it for the night. If I can’t do a simple take home quiz in three days time, how am I going to be able to do a quiz in class with only two hours?! *falls apart*
I haven’t even begun to read the chapter in Psychology…And the test on that is Wednesday!
Doesn’t friggen help that whenever I went to read that’s when it got extra loud around here…Twice today! Sitting here with book before me, bent over it, this is when Mum decides to tell me something…And when I raise my head slightly frustrated by that point, she says ‘never mind’, she’ll tell me later. Hello! You already interrupted me, tell me now! But no, and she hasn’t told me since, not that it started out sounding like anything I cared about…People she works with that have no bearing on my life.
Then again, as soon as I went back to reading, or attempting to, after ignoring it for the afternoon, that is when she chooses to tell me something else, just as I started trying to read…And the noise level raises.
I just hope I can mange a paper out of what Raya and I discussed this afternoon…Admittedly, my faith in any of my abilities is faltering at this point. *sigh* [A two-page paper on said project being due Thursday.]
So…Despite me saying the first week of college went good (which it did, I think…)…The first week-end has decided to give me fits!
Admittedly, college isn’t the easiest thing. However, you’ve only just begun, following an extended absence from being in any type of school-related environment, in which you are the student. *hugs tightly* I think you ought to give it more time, adjust, and hopefully, you will find it easier as time passes…once your become acquainted with how your teachers do things and what they expect/give on each exam/quiz. As for your abilities as a writer, don’t you dare falter or question said ability!! There is, of course, a huge difference between writing an essay or paper-related project and writing fiction. You ARE a GREAT writer. Plus. Homework is evil and it sucks. *lol* *HUGS*
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*hugs* I know you can do it, You just need to take deep breaths and have confance. College is hard at first admiticlly and it can get over whileming when you start out and start thinking about when things are due and stuch. I see alot of people your age and all anges in college and lot of them have Children and get intrupated all the time and I wonder how they get any work done. You need to find your quite place at least for a few moments to get soem work done work away around the inturptions and kiddies. *hugs* And It is okay to cry things out take a few moments and then retuen anew. Just keep things calm, keep possitive and don’t give up or get furstated if you feel that you are walk away or something. *hugs* Ps: Your an Awesome writing and I’m sure you’ll do fine and believe that you do fine.
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When I get frustrated I have to stop wut I’m doing and go find something totally different to do – doesn’t always work but it helps. I think it’ll just take you some time to get into the groove of things… don’t give up yet! I’ve got much faith in you.
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*hugs* your wlecome, and the 1/2 ( it thank thats what you siad) Will come to you. *noods*
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*hugs* I agree with Raya… give it time it takes ajusting. Do you have a place that you can go… away from the house and people in between classes or something to help studying too? I find that the easiest.. if you need noise have an mp3 player or something and just hide away from everyone. It’ll get easier as time goes on! you can do it! š
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haha, yeah… I wanted to try a new name hehe Uhm… too bad winter is coming up. I would suggest a park or something haha, sometimes here they can be pretty quiet and the critters could run around, but yeah I understand that.
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Give yourself some time and cut yourself a little slack! *hugs* You CAN do this, it might be a little shakey and rough at first, but you’ll get into the swing of things as time goes on.
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