Another Attempt to Get this Entry Saved

Okay…What have I missed in the telling? I don’t know. *laughs*

Already covered the fireworks from Wed.
Thursday I did the weekly shopping while Mum took the Critters to go visiting. [Have thus far avoided all contact with Mum’s brother and his lot.]

Derrick has opted to back out of my life. Thing is, Bill doesn’t trust him, or his motives, for anything. [Can’t say that I blame him…I can only hope that he learns over time that he can trust me, and my motives.] So for me and Bill to have a chance, he feels he needs to remove himself from the situation. *shrugs*

I hurt Bill badly in the past…I wish he knew, or could trust, that I wouldn’t/won’t do that again. It’s one of those things that are going to take time. Which I understand. Which is also why we’ve both said we want/need to take things slow. *mumbles something about it not always being so easy* [I’m quite good at wanting things when I want them, and not following the thought that says, ‘No, not right now.’ It’s not that I don’t hear the little voice in my head…It’s just that I’d rather beat it with a stick than listen to it. *smirks*] Still…I am doing my best to do as I should.

So close…On my tongue, on my lips…The words rest there…But I don’t say them…Part of me wants to…Want them to spill from my lips, so he can hear them, feel them, know them…Yet…*sigh* I’m afraid…Terrified…Last time I dared…*shakes head* I know this isn’t like last time. This is already so much better…

I was amazed with my ability to feel comfortable with someone as I had then…But I’ve found that, now, in this sphere of things…I feel even more comfortable! I feel like close to him is somewhere I belong…I feel safe, cared for, and loved…

Loved…To be loved…To love…My heart aches.

*sighs* *shakes head*

Anyway…Yesterday being Friday…

Went on walkies…It was pretty good…I was just this side of dead tired. And not feeling all the best. I had 3 very sweet pastry puff things the night before, and my stomach was messed up all day. I’m actually feeling better today, so that is good…Anyway…

After walkies…Went to Bill’s. *smiles*

He took me out to dinner at a small little restraunt in town. We’re we sat and talked, and ate, and talked. I felt like I was babbling silly things at time…But he listened…And later he told me he liked ‘my stories’. [Told him about feeding chocolate to the one mama raccoon last summer…and just general babble. *laughs*]

Then we went to the video store and picked up Underworld Evolution to watch…As, amazingly enough, I had yet to see it. It was pretty goods.

Leaving always sucks…I feel like I’m leaving part of myself behind. *sigh*

Critters were happy to see me when I got home though. *smiles* Harley nearly tackled me…And wouldn’t let go for a while. He’s such an excitable thing. Sonja met me pretty much at the door as well.

*hugs Raya* I hope my dear sissy has gotten some much needed sleep. Floaty Brain Syndrome is only fun when it starts happening…When you realize you’re forgetting how to think…Yeah…It’s a bit O.o Eeps. *laughs* Still…Yay for Doctor Who! *more hugs for the Raya of the Sisterness*

Started an entry for next November. Hehehe…Eeps! *hides* *laughs* I need to do a lot more work on it…But it’s started, so that is something much of the goods.

Today is the ‘supposed’ great 07/07/07…*looks around* Eh…Not impressed. *laughs* Mum is wanting to do something…Not for that though, just for the sake of doing something. It’s 82 out already…It’s calling for 88. I haven’t a clue as to what Mum has in mind…I don’t think she actually does.