Feeling…Lonely

With December comes the snow…I hate snow. I’m guessing it’s going to be here to stay this time around. *sigh* And I was so wanting a brown/green Christmas.

I’m feeling a bit better…Though still feeling a bit like death warmed over. Mum made me get some medicine while we were in town. Blah. I hate taking medications…I should of got off my arse and threw some of my tea in some water. Thing is, I need to get a tea ball…Otherwise I have to empty out a tea bag, stuff it full of my herbal mixture, and tie it shut once more, with the hope that it stays tied shut.

*kicks Zuko* I’m so disappointed in that boy.
Explanation: *watched the season finale of Avatar tonight* The boy so disappointed me, as well as his Uncle Iroh, I’m sure. Still…He’s got a chance at redemption next season, he just has to take it. *has to now wait for next season* Do these people not realize I don’t have this kind of patience? I don’t have any kind of patience.

I’m physically worn out…Though I haven’t done much of anything this whole week. Did get some food for tonight and some soup for later while out today. Only went out to put the shopping money in the bank. Should of got a phone card while I was out…Remembered that when I got home. *headdesk* So typical of me.

I didn’t think this was going to be that long…But I guess I had more to say than I thought.

I’m feeling…Empty again. Hollow…I do want to something to fix this feeling…I hate it so.

Grim asked me the other day what I wanted for Christmas…I haven’t a clue as to what to tell him. I really don’t know. I mean yeah, there are a few piddly things here and there that I’d like to have…But none of them are that important as to say, ‘Yes, this is what I’d like’. Besides, I don’t want Grim spending his money on me.
I do wish he was still going to come and see the snow…As while we have it, it might as well serve some purpose. But that’s not going to happen…*kicks the snow* I so hate snow…Tis cold and wet…And makes driving a bloody nightmare.

I’m hungry again…Despite having a filling dinner…And I just had a snack a little while ago.

I had a question/thought, pop into my head…Tis quite morbid, at least a little anyway…Am I killing myself slowly?
I know I don’t eat right…And I know that I can do things about that. I know that I have hypoglycemia (low-blood sugar), and that I have to/should watch what I eat, and make sure I eat better than I am…But I don’t do it. It’s ‘too much work’. How can it be to much work to feed oneself properly? *shakes head*

My hair is still in a state of transition…I haven’t felt up to getting it fixed the rest of the way. I need to fix it soon though…I hate how it looks right now…Which does little for my self-esteem…Of course, being sick does little for it as well.

*sigh* I’ve had no contact with the people in my life, outside the immediate family today…My own fault, to some degree. When I was on earlier I kept messenger offline. I was feeling a bit anti-social…Thing is, I still feel that way, yet I still long to hear from some people. *shakes head* I’m utterly mental, I know.

I didn’t write any of my story thus far today…Am not happy with myself for that. I know that the whole NaNoWriMo is over for this year…But my story is not over…And I’d like to see it reach it’s end…Half of me says ‘I don’t know what purpose it would serve’…yet another part says, ‘It would serve me finally finishing a story I’d started’…That should read original story I guess…As I did conclude the first ‘A Most Unconventional Student’ as well as ‘The Choice’…But those are both HP fanfics.

I’m feeling dried out…I’m going to blame the evil medication Mum made me buy today.

So far…December sucks.

*falls over* *curls up into a ball* *goes to sleep*