Still nothing worth writing about

12:50 pm (or so)
The loneliness and emptiness…It suddenly feels overwhelming. I keep looking up to where the kids slept last night, expecting them to be there, but of course they are at school, so they’re not. I don’t understand why it’s so overwhelming.

I need to just disconnect from…I’m not sure what. And reconnect to something…Whatever is going to heal and fix this mess inside.

Is it seeing too much in things that aren’t there? Is it trying to find things that aren’t there? What is going on in my mind…My thoughts…My…heart? I don’t know anymore.

Everything was find earlier…Aside from releasing a bunch of emotions onto wordpad. But I wasn’t feeling so bad about that. I don’t know…I just feel like something is wrong. I don’t like feeling like this.

I’ll write more later…I can’t seem to think…

An hour or so later, nearly everyone of importance was accounted for. And after three, all those of importance (meaning the Critters then too) were accounted for.

I don’t know what it was, or why it was. I just hope I don’t have to deal with it again…Exspecially any time soon.

I’ve been looking at more online courses…Still, it all costs money. Which is just depressing. On a not so depressing note…Mum will be stopping by the garage and picking up my Jeep on the way home from work tomorrow. The guy is letting us pay for half of it this week, and the other half next week. Hopefully after that the Pet’s Christmas bounus will be handed out too…And we can get the bills that are behind caught up. [The one major one being the fall property tax…Then seeing about the majorly sucky phone bill…As we currently have no long distance service…Blah.]

I currently am really wanting a coco and a piece of Reese’s peanutbutter pie…But the annoying pet is on the phone, and I’m not willing to share with him.

I was talking to Raya last night and she was talking about taking a day off from…Well, basicly everything. It’s sounding good. Hide out in Harley’s room as she suggested…Leaving technology hidden on the other side of the door. Not sure I could manage it as long as the Critters were around though…And currently they aren’t allowed to go anywhere…Although…Today was actually a good day. [Harley stayed dried…Sonja played in gym.]

Blah…I really have nothing. Other than a headache. And I’ve been wearing my glasses for…*thinks* How many days has it been? Three or four. *shrugs*

I’m seriously considering taking a pair of scissors to my hair. I know the ends need trimmed, just for it to be healthier in the long run…I was thinking of cutting it to above my shoulders…But someone lodged a bit of a protest. *slight smirk* *small laugh*

*gives up on the entry*

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peanut butter oh yuk hehehe, quietness is good at times I like to have it on occasions 🙂

Taking a break from just abouot everything feels like a way that’ll definitely help me search out every inch of my soul and self. Hopefully, you can do the same, and it’ll work for you! *hugs* I hate the feelings, so I know how you must feel. *more hugs* Just remember, you don’t have to accomplish everything in a day. As they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day. My mom reminded me of the same thing, in fact, because I have a problem with patience and waiting. But ’tis something we all must learn. And your time will come soon. Most importantly, you have to believe it. It’s not going to present itself without help and motivation from you, too. *hugs*

October 19, 2006

*hugs you* i have pumpkin cheesecake in the fridge and i stupidly ate a slice of pizza and now my stomach is in high revolt. *sighs* and i really REALLY wanted that cheesecake.

October 19, 2006

Breaks are good… Cutting bad hair is good, more good will grow… doesn’t grow so well with lots of split ends and such.

October 19, 2006

oooohhhh pumpkin cheesecake is sooooooo yum!

October 19, 2006

woo for Peanut butter… this is a crap note but know that I love you and although we dont have snow we do have rain and… *hugs* xoxo

October 20, 2006

maybe a day off from everything would be a good thing sometimes there is just so much go on, hope you sort your bills out and stuff and have some pie, spending a day without a computer would be too damn hard i think your hair would be nice with a bit of a trim lol i keep thinking about cutting mine then changing my mind xxx

October 20, 2006

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) taking some time out for yourself is a good idea

Aw! A day off to do nothing sounds great! It might be just what you need to relax & think things over…all the ideas that you have been throwing around like books, school etc. Yeah, college is expensive, but you can get help. I hope you find something that works for you. I need to trim my hair too, but I want it to grow! *lol* Anyway, hope you get your snacks & get rid of that headache. *hugs*

October 20, 2006

Do you make this Reese’s peanut butter pie? Because I would sooo love the recipe.