Day Five

To ever person we see, we present a new mask…Every one a facade hiding who we are inside.

Okay…That one’s not quite as eloquent as I hoped. I had a better one…But as it was in transit, and no ability to write it down at the moment it came to me…Lost it.

I am…Still in search of who I really am. I guess it’s a search we all make throughout our lives. We have ideas, and ideals. We know certain things about ourselves as truths. Certain things are just us…Somethings are us for a certain amount of time…We either move on or outgrow them…Somethings are with us for all time. We evolve…We change…We live…We grow.

Raven Pegasus
I’ve put a lot of myself into Raven. She’s also evolved through her trials, and growing. I’m hoping I have managed to grow along with her. Her ‘school girl crush’ became full blown love. Still, she fell to temptation (something, I myself have been guilty of), and it shook her the love she’d found. She’s lost love, and found love again. Now, she struggles with being trapped (though not in the same way, it’s a feeling I can relate to). In the beginning of her story, she was not afraid to be who she was, and fight for what she wanted. Now…Though that spirit still lays inside, it’s buried, and she’s left feeling broken. She needs to regain her hope. She needs to regain her sense of self. She needs to regain her strength…And so do I. I see this even more as I write. Perhaps that is why things needed to take the turn they did in roleplay, to show me. If I can get Raven through this, and restore all of this to her…I can do it for me as well.

Like the picture Dobby made says: Set Yourself Free…Learn to fly again.

This is something I need to do.

Most of those who know me, know I roleplayed elsewhere before coming to OD and ‘breathing’ life into Raven. I roleplayed at the MSN DragonLance communities…and prior to that, played good old fashion D&D (Gods…I do so miss those days).

From the Realms of DragonLance

Kitana MacKid
Kitana…Kit to those who know her well…Didn’t lead the easiest of lives. Daughter of Kitiara Uth Matar and Tanis Half-Elven, Kit would not learn her parentage until late into her adulthood…and after both of her parents had passed. Her mother left her with a farmer and his wife, who died from plague when Kit was 13. From there, Kit found herself at the SilverBlossom Inn (Gods…I hope that’s right…if not Leeda -wherever you are- I fully apologize). Seems Kit had a life outside roleplay as well…As Tan took her and used her as an NPC on a couple occasions. But, from what I heard, he kept her true to form. At 16, after dumping one too many drinks on customers (rather dumping one on the wrong customer…But he bloody well deserved it!), Kit found herself on the run with an odd…VERY odd..group of adventurers. And so began her life as a warrior.
Kitana is strong, and independant…Yet, despite the fact that she didn’t often show it, she had a softer side as well. She yearned to be loved, really loved, though she hated knowing she would have to lower her defenses to find such a thing. Enter NelkWyn Lordor. He’d come to avenge himself on Kit’s best friend, planned on killing him in fact. For this, Kit wanted the man dead…Yet, as Jack smoothed things over, as he was wont to do. An even stranger group sat out, on an unknown adventure. Kit found herself falling for the man she swore she hated (Oh Gods…this sounds familiar suddenly. *giggles*). One night Wyn was ‘courting’ a cleric (If that’s what you want to call it). Kit ended up with bloody knuckles from beating on trees. I use to know such jealousy…I don’t think I have such anymore…Not to the strength I once did.

Cypress Nogard/Penelope Reppoc/Taladas
Ah…Sweet, sweet Cypress. *grins* Quick witted, silver tongued, and sarcastic. In her first introduction into DragonLance, she made a splash, in a big way. She went head to head with another new comer, the draconian Slythe. At the hot springs the two did their bests to outdo each other. Cypress in the guise of a human, still used her copper dragon magic, to cause as much trouble as she could for the ‘big lizard’. To see the two of them together…It was amazing. And I have to admit, some of the funnest writing I’ve done. Eventually Cypress managed to outdo Slythe (and after finding out who Slythe was…I’ve got to admit someone managed to best him *grins*).
Later in messenger with Grim, I admited to him that I was Cypress. A few moments later, he admited to me, that he was Slythe. Proof we can work well together. *smiles*
Cypress did not fall ‘victim’ to love. Though she did spend a wonderful moonlit night on a sandy beach with a fellow dragon, a bronze known as Kahl. It proved the wyrm had a softer side.

Feral Genet ~*~ Kirayna Lordor ~*~ Kira : Three more souls, yet without much of story I can put into words.

From the world of Dungeons & Dragons

Tauren (Taurean) Moldorm
A strong, independent woman, who needed no one, let alone a man. She watched as the men of her villiage abandoned them, leaving them for attack (some of them even joining in on the attack). She watched her mother be raped and killed…then when her mother’s attack turned to her, she surprised him and took his life. Her Grandmother raised her until she was old enough to leave her home. She kept mostly to herself, though after a while did manage to find a couple friends. The only male she ever really trusted, was of all things, a kender. She was created from my hurt and pain. She was the strength I wanted to have. She had inner power that I wanted…or so I thought. I think, all and all…She was still that scared little girl, she just hid it really well.

Nemisis
*shakes head* Gods…she was just a blonde air head. *laughs* But, she did manage to befriend Tauren, so there had to be something there. *smiles* Still…she knew how to handle a bow…and she could, on occasion, prove to be useful.

Adria Widow
Ah…My drow. Let me rephrase that…My arachaphobic drow. Why is that important? Because most drow nations worship a spider diety. *laughs* Adria was, or all things, a princess. One who fled before her corination. She was strong and independent (Gee…my characters seem to have a lot of that). She spent her time on the run, and in hiding. Her people were looking for her, and she was on the surface world, where drow are not looked favorably upon. She was initally distrustful of people, for fear that they wouldn’t accept her. She did come to fancy another elf…er…half-elf. Yet, she never really told him. They traveled together for a while, and it seemed he fancied her as well…But nothing ever seemed to come of it. (Then again…Perhaps it was prelude to the doomed stat

us of my relationship at the time.) [Adria is the one where the crossbow came from. She had one that mounted to the back of her arm.]

Brackstone (Brack) Steepledown
Oh come on, how can you NOT love a kender! *giggles* This is supreme childishness! This is happy no matter what. Laugh in the face of danger. Always seeing the bright side of life. "Two hundred ogres are coming to eat our lower intenstines? How cool is that?!" *falls over laughing*

So…Those are some of the faces that I have presented to the world…Yeah, yeah…I know I left out Firefox…I think really she was an expansion of Feral mixed with Cypress…You know, aside from that whole being a mutant thing.

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Sonja didn’t go with the dad to their aunt Ann’s. Mum said she actually started crying saying she didn’t want to go. *shrugs* Then they thought they’d take Harley! [I would of been quite pissed to come home and find him not here…Sonja can take care of herself if need be. She knows not to find trouble. Harley on the other hand…He’s a bloody kender! And he did have a bit of a fever earlier too.] He decided he didn’t want to go either though. [Thankfully.]

Went for walkies…The cute guys were out here and there…Not that it does much good mind you…But still, they are nice to look at as they pass. *laughs*

I’m going to try and squeeze in a nice long soak tomorrow. Though I have to do shopping too most likely. I want to go to Petoskey to check on material for Sonja’s Halloween costume…and to stop at CapLuna (formly Capricorn Moon) [and the resident Metaphysical store in the area], as I remeber at one point they offered some classes there as well.

I looked over the community colleges website that’s in Petoskey too…I must admit, all that stuff confuses me.

Took a couple quizzes the other night:

Are You a Narcissist?
41 – 80
Occasional narcissist. You occasionally think too highly of yourself; catch yourself whenever it seems like the world revolves around you.

Are You Air, Earth, Water or Fire?
21 – 50
Water: You’re sensitive and fluid, responding to feelings more than anything else. Dreams, visions, love, and the mysterious attract you. You may be prone to depression, so try to balance your emotions with rationality.

Guess that’s it for the moment.