I bloody well don’t hate you
The owl flapped against the pane of glass of the window, seeking entrence into the bedroom Raven shared with Raya. Opening the window Raven aloud the fowl entrence, then noticed the piece of parchment tied to it’s leg, the familiar writing sending a bolt of nervous excitement through her. ~Severus~ Quickly she retrieved the parchment, unfolding the letter…
My dearest beloved Raven,
If this is not a testatment to my everlasting love, I do not know what is. I loved you since I was a boy. When you returned to me, I failed at first to see you for who and what you were. A piece of myself, returned after so long. I will always hold the time we had together in my heart, for the rest of my days, no matter how long or short they may be. No matter the outcome of this.
I know what it is like to live in a house with a father who is not happy about the son he has. I should of forseen that this was something that could potentially be probmatic. Had Orion been Wormtail’s it may have been easier for me to deal with, but that is not the case. I know I said I would take care of you and him, as if he were my own. Truth of the matter is, he would never be my son. He would always be a reminder of the time you spent with Black. I do not say this to cause you pain and distress, only to be truthful. Despite my love for you, I do not believe I could be the father the child would deserve. And I do not wish to become as my father was to me.
So, my beloved, it is with a heavy heart, and shattered soul, that I have come to this line of thought. I know you love me, and trust in the fact that I will hold the memories of that love forever inside me. But I also know how you feel about Black. I do not believe I could be the husband you deserve, if I was always wondering, and waiting. As much as it pains me to write these words. I free you of your promises. And trust that it pains me to make this request, give the mutt a chance. But tell him to be forewarned, if I hear of him as so much hurting you in the least little bit, the least little way, I will make him pay. He will regret not only the day he was born, but the day he returned from the veil as well.
I only ask that you be happy. That is my one and only wish for you now. Know that I will always love you.
Forever your Half-Blood Prince,
Severus Snape
Tears streamed freely down Raven’s cheeks as she read, and reread the letter from Severus. He had set her free. Not only that, but requested that she give Sirius a chance. ~I can’t betray your love like that.~ Her heart ached terribly. But the things he had said in his letter rang true. She had known he was always be wondering and waiting…~Perhaps if I had told him of all the things that happened~ She hadn’t meant to be dishonest, she only wanted to spare any trouble that Sirius’s antics would cause between the two men. She also knew he worried, even if he hadn’t admited it to her, if he could truly be a father to Orion, knowing how is own father treated him.
Taking a deep breath, the girl wiped the tears from her cheeks. The breath escaped in a sigh, looking down at her hand, the Slytherin House ring that was once Severus’s shined. Biting into her lip, and closing her eyes, the fingers of Raven’s right hand wrapped around the band, and slipped it from her finger. Opening her eyes once more, she walked over to her dresser, opening the purple music box with the celestial designs, that only she could open, and not fall asleep apon hearing the sweet melody. Taking another deep breath, and swallowing hard, Raven dropped the silver and green band into the box, closing the lid once more.
Raven made her way from the room and down the stairs, headed twords the kitchen, and a much needed cup of tea. As she stepped through the doorway she seen Sirius seated at the far end of the table. “Afternoon doll.” She offered up a wan smile, and headed to the stove, putting the kettle on to boil. “Something bothering you?” She didn’t answer, just set about getting her tea cup ready. “Raven,” She could sense that he was now standing behind her.
“I’m fine Sirius, really.” She began, “just getting some tea.” Turning around grey eyes looked down into her blue ones, which blinked up at him.
“Sorry,” he whispered stepping back, “too close?”
She went to speak, but the tea pot whistled, drawing her attention back to what she had been doing. Silence fell over the two of them, as Raven waited for her tea to steep. Instead of returning to his seat at the table, Sirius remained standing by the counter. “Sirius…”
“Yes doll?”
Raven turned to look at him once more. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.” She chewed nervously on her lip, and swallowed hard. “It’s about…how I feel.” The man before her raised his brow slightly. “I…” She struggled with the words, unsure of how to say what she wanted. “I haven’t been entirely honest about how I feel.”
“If you’re going to tell me you hate me again, I’d rather not hear it.” There was a certain sadness behind the man’s eyes. ~Have you really begun to believe that?~
“I bloody well…don’t…hate you.” A sigh escaped the girl.
A slight smile reappeared on the man’s lips. “Well that’s a start.”
“Severus wrote to me.” Raven spoke as she reached into her robe pocket, and withdrew the letter she had recieved earlier. Sirius’s eyes went to the piece of parchment, and then back to Raven’s face. “He told me he still loves me.” Pain flickered in the grey eyes. “He also released me from my promises.” She had to keep taking steadying breaths, for fear she would either pass out, or burst into tears. “He made one more request…”
“Let me guess.” Sirius broke in, “avoid Black at all costs.”
Raven shook her head, and held the letter out to Sirius. “He told me to ‘give the mutt a chance’.” Hesitently Sirius took the piece of parchment from her, scanning through the words written. “Though it is followed by a potential threat on your life.” She offered up with a slight laugh, in an attempt to lighten her mood.
Sirius folded the parchment back up, and handed it back to Raven, watching it disappear into the folds of her robe once more. “He wrote he knows how you feel about me.” A slight sigh escaped him. “Am I ever going to get to know?”
Raven’s eyes fell to the floor, while she tried to steady her nerve. There had only been one man she’d said such words to, with such strength in their meaning, and that had not ended as she had always envisioned. Looking back up, her colbolt eyes met Sirius’s grey gaze. Raven bit down on her lip, swallowing hard once more. “I…” She took in a deep breath, holding it a moment before letting out once more. “I love you.”