Ups and Downs…

I was going to come home from Traverse, and write an insanely estatic entry…and all the up got sucked out of me…

Why did it get sucked out of me? Because I can’t pretend to be happy when I’m not, I guess. My Mum comes back to the bathroom where I’m brushing me teeth after preparing a dinner I didn’t feel like, or want to prepart, but I did it anyway…And tells me we have to do something about my attitdue…or something along those lines. I’m bloody miserable, how do you expect me to feel/act?! I’m guessing because the pet was here, and although he hadn’t done anything per say, I was taken offense to his prescene. Like she doesn’t? Whatever. And she said something about him not having done anything at least at that point…and I said something about him being a reminder…*sigh*

All I wanted to do after that was crawl into a corner and cry…That’s all I want to do right now still…thinking back on it. *sigh*

But I was so up…so happy…I was going to come on here and say something along the lines of….

I’ve got it! I’ve got it! I’ve finaly found it!…..blah, blah, blah…whatever it was now…But on to what I have found…

I now…have in my possesion…my most saught after Chocolate Frog card…I have…Severus Snape! *would do a happy dance…but I’m just not up to it.*

Some guy nodded at me as we passed into Meijers today…He wasn’t gorgeous…but he wasn’t bad to look at either…And like with Trench coat boy…I made a circle around…and almost was where he could see me again, and went the other direction instead…*sigh* Tis for the best, I’m sure…considering the conversation that would have to enuse if one was to ensue… "Yeah, I’m married…but I’m utterly miserbale and unhappy about it, but no, I can’t seem to manage to do anything about it, because I’m just a spineless coward that way." *sigh* No wonder I like Peter so much…we can be loverly spineless cowards together.

Anyway…the Chocolate Frog was an impulse item at Borders…I stopped in there and got totally lost…it’s so huge, and I can’t find a bloody thing…Aside from the obvious Chocolate Frog…though I did get a book as well…The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Assertiveness. Soooooooo….The chances of it doing me any good?

The writing exercises I did the other day were just picking out similies and metaphors in connection to one of my sensory image paragraphs…I picked the one about releasing the snake, just so you all know. Anyway….not the most interesting read in the world…There is the ‘just keep writing about the experience for ten minutes’ thing…but I’m not sure it’s worth typing up and printing.

But…once I get off my arse and motivated again…which means working on the poetry section…you’ll have something to read.

Life as I know it…
I’m married to a man I don’t love…And in love with a man I’ll most likely never meet…Joy…*kicks life* Can’t I just go live in the world of Harry Potter full time?

Like I said at GJ, if you continue to do nothing about the problem, you’re going to explode. It’s inevitable, and at this point, bumping along the edge. I think your mom’s right, especially when including the end bit you wrote at GJ. Your attitude and the more likely you are to blow up at people (your children) are going to get worst, because you let him instill such negativity in your being. …

If you don’t want to act or do something about him, that’s fine. But it’s also not good or healthy to take out your problems on others, or to let it affect your daily life/emotions. *hugs*

Blue 2

June 28, 2006

arwen_adora

*hugs* sounds like some nifty purchases! and you’ll never know until you try! Mmmm random guys eh?! lol I wish you a better and happier tomorrow! *hugs* 🙂

ryn I’m not sure… It’s weird. They didn’t have The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Getting Off Your Ass and Reading your Wife to Make Her Less Miserable? Dangit. Would’ve given the pet something to do. ~

Well, I’m happy for you that you finally got your Severus card. The other stuff, though…you must do something about that, hun. If you don’t…I dunno. You should be at least trying to enjoy this life…it slips past us so fast. *hugs* And take care. Good luck, no matter what you do.

I know what you mean. I am the same way. I had some relationship troubles a while back that I was sure would end everything and I had a hard time coming to terms with it. Then, one day I got really mad and it all came out. I’m not saying that I think this will fix your problems, but there is some hope for those of us that have trouble with our emotions…we all have a limit. *hugs*

ryn: I should be used to ppl hating on my mens by now. I should just laugh at their stupidity, but sometimes it just gets to me. lol. You have my full permission to hit those idiots with a stick. I agree sometimes we must beat others out of love. lol.

ryn Yes, let’s! On a more serious note: I’ve been refraining from saying this, but I understand the situation you’re going through from Sonja’s and Harley’s perspective. My parents’ marriage and divorce wasn’t just messy; it was World War Three. Raya’s right. My mom let her emotions eat away at her because she never told the Sperm Donor to go f*ck himself, and my brother and I ended up (cont’d)

paying the price. (Though I think I got it a lot worse because I had the bad fortune to look like the SD.) It doesn’t seem like the pet would intentionally hurt you or the kids (but I could be very wrong). Talk with him; if he’s serious about saving this marriage, he won’t have a problem with marriage and family counseling. But do something, or else the kids will pay. (cont’d)

From experience, I know how much a bad marriage can hurt kids, even if you try and hide it. We’re perceptive little blighters. ~

krazylilanjel

June 29, 2006

I can’t find those cards anywhere around here *pouts* Oh well.. anyways. It’s so easy to say leave him… but I know it isn’t that easy. I hope you get it figured out.

Hear hear!