The days thoughts…or something. *laughs*

I should be writing. Well I guess I am writing…and that’s what matters. *laughs* Okay, that thought should of started out, I should be writing something for Raven. But I DO have the thoughts for tomarrows entry for her…maybe too many. *laughs* I’ll get it sorted out though. I’ll have to take some time to sit down and just get the thoughts out.

Besides…there was too much going on tonight, I just couldn’t seem to get to Raven’s entry. If I had had an actual concept for tonight’s entry, I would of went ahead and got it out.  I have a few other things to babble on about though.

First off, she of avoiding serious conversations had not one, but two of them tonight. *laughs* It was good…though a bit much as I was having them at the same time! The wonders of messenger, really. *laughs* But they were really good conversations. *smiles*

Raya and I talked about how we’ve both been feeling in regards to the changes going on as far as life and the need for her to leave roleplay. And the worries each of us had regaurding how the other one was feeling. In our worries about not hurting the feelings of the other, we’d more or less managed to do just that. But it’s all sorted out now, and I think we are better for it. 

The other conversation was with Grimmie, concerning Mike of all things. It was a conversation I needed to have, I think…though I’m not sure if anything got settled in my mind. *laughs*  Thing of it is…for as long as I can rember, since we were together initally, there was this ‘thing’ between us. He would touch me, or even look at me, and I was lost to all common sense. It was still there two years ago. But I also thought I still had love for him two years ago as well. I’ve figured out since, that it was just hanging on to what was…I don’t really have those feelings anymore.
I seen him Tuesday…After I got done walking with Libby I met him at the one park (we’d ran into him while we were walking, and he asked me to meet him there). We wandered around in the woods abit..And there was a point that if I was going to be over taken by that power he had over me, it would of happened…but…It wasn’t the same. I didn’t feel that same weakness I’ve always felt around him.
Though I was left with facing the fact that I have a hard time just saying no in general. Not because I don’t want to…but because I don’t want to hurt or disappoint. Which I know is just sooooo wrong (and how I ended up married when I wasn’t ready).
Nothing too drastic happened. Though it could of…But I wouldn’t give an answer as to what I wanted. And amazing as it seems to me…Mike didn’t push the issue. It’s quite odd…I’m not use to such. I’m use to Mike knowing what he wants and how to get it…I’m use to the touch that turns my blood to fire, so I can’t think enough to ressit, even if that’s what common sense tells me I should do. Part of me feels good to be free from that…and part of me feels a bit more burdened…Now I’ll have to take full responsibility (not that tech. I shouldn’t have before).
Thing is…let’s be honest, I want sex…But I know it’s not Mike that I want. As alien as a concept as it seems to me…I realize this. Once the other day while thinking about it, I had decided,  yeah, I’d just do it….But it wasn’t long after that I was back to not really knowing if that’s what I should/wanted to do.

Anyway…not sure that makes any sense to anyone…Blah.

Anyway…What else…The poem on my journal exercise entry seemed to go over well. *laughs* That’s like the first one I can really rember writing. I haven’t written any lately, other than those four lines from the other day. Still…I have a stack of them…and another exercise from my book that I have to pick one out to use. I just have to get to looking them over and deciding which one to use.

Here is something…I was wandering through awren_adora’s entry…and found this. *laughs*

Raven/Beloved: you are tempting me to write a raven/mutt story lol

maybe I’ll surprise you with one!

either way I bet you’ll give in eventually (3-some story comes to mind)

the MUTT kicks BUTT and don’t you forget it!
(which is easy b/c it rhymes)

Which got me talking to Raya about it.  (Gee, ever get the feeling I talk to Raya alot? *laughs*)  But it spawned this thought…

J. says:
Is it weird to you that Arwen wants to write a story with Raven? lol   

Raven says:
It’s odd to see someone wanting to take my character and write something…It’s like…I don’t know, lol
I mean…I guess…Well here I am, usuing someone elses characters to create a story, and in the process created this character…and now here is someone whose read what I’ve wrote…and sees my character and thinks enough of her to think about writing about her…like I’ve been doing to someone elses characters…and it’s like…kind of like on some level I’ve already made it so some degree…even without the actul being published.

It actually, makes me realize, that despite feeling lost and like I was going no where for all this time, and not doing anything…Perhaps I really was. I know over the last little bit I’ve come to care more about spelling better, and getting things they way they are suppose to be. This time was to show me that this is something I could be passionate about.

Okay, I just have this thought that’s nagging me, and I can’t not say it. Just reading where Raya is asking the question up there, seems like an interview question, and I just have the urge to compare her to Rita Skeeter. *ducks swatting hands and flying objects* *falls over laughing*  Sorry, couldn’t help it…But I will NEVER forget that one night on messenger…And you SO captured Rita perfectly.  And it did come in handy, as I did use it to create an article written by her…alas it’s in Peter’s diary, which hardly anyone reads…Which is probably why he’s becoming as neglected as Severus’s diary has been.

*thinks* I can’t remeber if there was anything else or not.

Things to remeber to get this week/week-end
1) Square bottle of water.
2) Small tape recorder that supports headphones
3) New set of headphones
4) Uh…I’m sure there is something else…*laughs*

Okay…I suppose I will…OH WAIT! I remeber…*laughs*

A while back, well not that long ago, I mentioned something about writing some twisted romance tales…thing is…I can’t manage to think up some good couples…So if anyone has any thoughts…*shrugs* Feel free to yell them in my general direction. *laughs*

So yeah…where was I…Going…yeah, that’s where I was. *laughs*