the ex-

well so he called me 2 nights ago…and now i’ve got him on the brain again..i so hate that…i finally get him out of my thoughts and what does he do, calls me just out of the blue….it always happens like that….i know that i don’t want to be with him, but what is this hold he has on my inner thoughts….i mean at the odd times i find myself thinking of him, like in the middle of an anatomy test..yeah that’s great…

so here i am sitting at the computer waiting on my next class to start and he is completely invading my mind…so i figured i’d rant about him a little bit more…

back story:

we started dating when i was 5 months pregnant with my daughter, although we had known each other most of our lives, i used to babysit his little sister and his mom is my mom’s boss….so yanno we were always around each other…and let me tell you, when we started dating, he was just wonderful.  he’d go to doctor’s appointments with me and all that, and once malachai was born, he even got up with me at the am feedings….either he’d make the bottle or he’d change her while i made the bottle, then he’d sit up with me while i fed her, or he’d feed her and we’d watch a movie, then go back to bed…..well he is in the national guard, so he was away for sometime, mostly just one weekend a month, and that we handled, no problems…but then last year when it was time for his 2 week drill, he opted to stay there on base instead of coming home every night, which made sense….well he ended up staying with a buddy and cheating on me…..

how he got caught was he gave the twit our home phone number and told her i was just a roommate…..then when i asked why she was calling all the time, he tried to convince me that she was just a friend….well, she called one day and we had a nice little talk…..and i destroyed every piece of clothing i bought him, packed his things and changed the locks…mind you, his mother was and still is my landlord…..but she told me to change the locks or she would for me….yeah

so a bit of time went by and he lived with the twit, and i call her a twit because she was gaulible enough to let him convince her that i was just a psycho roommate that wanted him…blah, blah, blah….so that lasted for like a month and she ended up cheating on him, so he told me…

he came back to town and we talked a bit, he appoligized, amitted he was wrong and all that junk, and i forgave him….stressing that i would never take him back because it would never work, i would always suspect him to be cheating and he would always feel like i didn’t trust him…..

so now we are just friends, and i will admit that before he left for this 6 month training we did sleep together, but i still stick by my feelings that once a cheater always…and that even if i didn’t feel that way, it wouldn’t work…..

do i sound like i’m trying to convince myself of this?

should i attempt to rekindle what we had, if that’s what he wants?

bah, i hate men lol