What is an FMP?

 So today I think I learned a new phrase today…

GOLLY i LOVE MY JOB!!

So I got screwed over by plumbing contractor who despite weeks and weeks of planning and me repeatedly calling the various managers and confirming over and over that they ordered a very specific sink (called strangely enough a PAC-08) that the designers had picked out, (I even offered to buy the sink myself online but they preferred to buy it)

Turns out the fuck-wads never ordered it,  despite the fact that I called the schmucks 4 weeks earlier and they confirmed that they had it in their hands…heavy sigh…I have one week to finish the project and she is having a party with 75 guests in 10 days…and the sink is going in the powder room that the guests will using…

So I begin this heated internet search and I call a number which is close to me,  turns out the number is the personal phone number of a salesperson of a studio that just so happens to have a faucet that they are late on for the very same project..(BONUS I NOW HAVE THE SALES-GUYS PERSONAL PHONE NUMBER AND ADDRESS!!!)

So I call my contact,  and she greets me with,  "I know I’m late so what can I do to fix it!"  which I gamely seize upon, and ask "Well what are you wearing, well actually, table that thought, what I really need is a sink,  and according to the internet you have what I want!"

The conversation rapidly degrades until she reveals that she was at a party and some participants at the party revealed that I have a particular liking for shoes and she was going to show me her "FMP’s"  

what the hell is an FMP?  while we are talking on the phone I quickly google FMP….

Dear Jodi,  your gonna show me your Fleet Management Protocol?  

Boy was I puzzled…So I said,  "Jodi,  I am sure you have the most awesome, FMP’s in the business,  I am sure that given the chance to explore further,  I will be even more impressed! "  I had no farkin Idea what she was talking about..

She laughed when I said that…she said "Do you know what an FMP is?"  me;"Ha Ha, ehh heh,  course I do" 

She says "Well good cause mine are tall, 4" is my minimum and 6" are my highest!" 

All I said was "Wow!  I am really impressed,  Sounds like some serious training to handle that much"

She laughed again…fuck me I was really confused now, but you know what they say "Fake it til you make it!"

She says "Would you like be trained also?"  Me;  "Sure how about after the sink comes?"

 

I just got home and spent more time on google and now I know that in this particular instance 

FMP = FUCK ME PUMPS!!!

Well,  that really changes the whole conversation!!!

So I sent her an e-mail  

"You wear em I’ll buy em"

http://www.louisvuitton.com/us/flash/index.jsp

Well that is all for now,

 

From the most wonderful place to be,  where people always say, "Stop being so downcast and look up"  but hell the view is better down here!!,  Where the Men are men,  the women are hot,  specially if they like wearing ‘those’ shoes, and all the children are above average!  -Beauty for Ashes