Full Circle: My Son finds his family!

Heh Full Circle, its funny how life does that. last week I was pondering one of my projects which happens to be a lux condo rehab on the 45th floor of a building that was 100′ from where I the hotel I used to work as a doorman at, I watched the building being built, and no 20 yrs later I am working in it.. a full circle…

This weekend my son had an interesting facebook friend request from somebody who thinks they might be his cousin from Cali Colombia…after a little checking it turns out she is his cousin and he is now in touch with his Aunt as well..

My son was placed in an orphanage when he was 5 and was there 2 years before we adopted him…messy situation but maybe this is his chance to reconnect and get some healing..

I had always planned to take him back to Cali when he was 16 or 17, so maybe this is all part of it…

maybe one in 10,000 kids in orphanages get the oppurtunity to reconnect with their biological families…its a hallmark kinda situation. yet delicate..

I spoke with him today at length about the risks and rewards..and to be careful and wise..there are mountains of guilt and shame concerning the adults in the situation as well the hurt and pain he suffered at being placed in the orphanage as well as the mystery of his 2 sisters..

My prayer for him is wisdom to make good decisions and have realistic expectations ….its been 10 years since he has seen any of his family…being adopted myself and yet also an adopter I can recognize the desire to fill in the missing pieces of his puzzle of his lost childhood…

My prayer for my wife is for peace, she is beside herself in this whole matter, I think she is worried about losing her son to his biological mom, she is angry, and jealous (I think, she hasnt actually said that) but I understand a mother’s heart which is possessive and protective…for me I am much less "threatened" as I was raised with more than one dad, and my loyalty always went to the one who took responsibility to "raise" me and father me…so I think Wilder’s loyalty is to the Mom who raised him not necessarily to the one who bore him…nonetheless she is distraught…for him i think this is about "finding" a part of himself he is missing..

I think he is strong enough and this whole thing will be a blessing…I am asking for much wisdom for myself…to say the right thing, to encourage when necessary, caution at times of risk, bless his endeavors and support him in his decisions and strengthen him when his resolve falters..his actions and decisions will affect the well being of many around him…

Yet in all this I remain optimistic that much good can come out of this, perhaps a turning point in his life, who can say?

It reminds me of a Paul Simon song..’Graceland’ I will share it with you now..

Salutations my friends! From the warmest and sweetest part of the Deep South, where chivalry still lives, beauty is found in the most humble of places, biscuits are a food group, and children and heard and seen! -Beauty for Ashes

you’re such a great father, Jeff. your children are lucky to have you. your family is in my prayers. *hugs*

If ever one had to give kudos to FB, it would be because it helps people find each other. I think this new situation of reconnecting with members of his birth family is an excellent and timely event. As his custodians, you are both in the realm of benefiting 10 fold from this experience. No doubt Wilder will appreciate his blessings and not lose sight of the “mother” that nurtured him, took careof him, and loved him as her own borne. An open heart and an open mind will render everyone a sense of peace, goodwill and above all, a greater sense of family unity. Regardless of what happens, Wilder knows where he belongs, he knows who his true family is. All the best to you and yours! G~

That is good that you are staying positive for your wife, My friend found his mom on facebook as well.

Chaosbride

March 29, 2011

wow

A Princess of Mars

Well, I meant that real Martians aren’t anything like the Martians in his books. 😉

MY post is one of the most amazing? why cuz of that chick? and yeah, I know it’s a lot to think about…