ED

I am having one of those days. One of those "fat days".
How I can be the exact same weight two days in a row and feel so differently about it?
Yesterday I was fine. Today I am not.
It’s completely irrational.

I look at myself and I can’t get past how huge my legs are.
They weren’t this huge yesterday. They weren’t tiny. But they definitely were not huge.
I was so worried about it that I had to go put on my jeans to assure myself that they were just as loose as they were yesterday. And they were.
Why does that not fix everything?
I still don’t see the same body that I saw yesterday.

I can’t even convince myself to believe what I know to be the truth – that this is nothing but a heinous lie, when it so obviously is.

What is wrong with me?
Why can’t I see what everyone else sees? Why can’t I see reality? Or discern reality from delusion?

How can the truth seem just as irrational as the lies.