Life : White Picket Fences

..but what I really want is to marry well.
I want to build my dream house in the suburbs of a big city.
I want a pool, and a little red SUV, and to be a stay at home mommy

to 3.2 children.
I want to be happy, and healthy, and loved.

It’s not as “glamourous” or as poetic as tragedy can be, but it’s also not as sad.

And it’s what I really want.

No dark and dismal loneliness, no pathetic solitude, no drunk oblivion, no razors and no blood, no beautiful disaster, no lies…just, love.

I want to love and be loved.

(it’s just, I’m afraid this will never be an option for me)

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May 14, 2007

i like this one better. You are right- it is a reality check. You don’t want to be sad and lonely all your life.. as glamorous as it may sound. I go between these two often. I think happiness is the better choice.

May 14, 2007

it is an option. you can, and will, have love and happiness in your life. xox.

May 14, 2007

3.2 children? Interesting number. I like the way you write. It grabs you right in. Keep writing, it’s very healthy. : ) Peace and health.

May 15, 2007

I also want all of the above, and i think i’m getting to the point where being the way i am is scaring the shit out of me because i’m scared i’m going to leave it too long and miss out on what i really want..U have this awesome way of doing what i cant.. some how U manage to take what im thinking and explain it so well in your entries.. Wish i could write the way you do.. I love reading ur diary..