The Break-up : Part 3

It wasn’t always this way.
We were together for over a year.
He used to visit me at work, he’d bring me lunch and sit with me on my breaks.
We’d go for walks around the neighborhood, hand in hand, or go running at the park.
He’d take the day off from work and take me to the zoo, or the aquarium, or the museum [we’re nerds].
He took me to the beach on my day off once – we stayed in a hotel right on the sand.
For Valentines Day (last year) he got me tickets to see Phantom of the Opera at the Arts Theatre, for my birthday (in October) he took me to a spa for a massage.
He kissed me good-bye every morning before he left for work.
He would text me “I love you”s and things like “I want you on the table tonight” or “I wonder what our kids will look like”.

And the more I think about it, the more I realize that I didn’t express my feelings…as often as I should have…but not because I was afraid of being honest with him, but because of these things. These things made me feel like my feelings were irrational and unfounded – like if I were to express them I was just being that girl. These things were enough to make me disregard my feelings, and keep my mouth shut.

Because what kind of girl throws a tantrum when he hurts her feelings sometimes, when he does all of this for her? That girl.