pet peeve #6549813

I seem to have a few of these lately. Been irritable I guess, probably weather related or something.

Latest is this:

Last night I told my grandma that Big Oil had bought a house and I would be moving there with him. She goes "well do you think that’s really a good idea? Don’t you think it will end up like Joel?"

umm….!?

1. Big Oil and I are not dating, we’re friends and roommates. We’re not even sleeping together.
2. We already live together, its no different than right now.
3. Living with Joel is not what caused our relationship to fall apart! Our relationship fell apart because we weren’t a good match, we didn’t put in the right effort, and didn’t care enough! Living with him and sleeping with him before marriage is not was caused the failure. If I had waited until we got married to move in, all it would have changed was that we would have had to get a real divorce!

Gah, I know she doesn’t mean it to come across like that, but I know that on some level, whether she would admit it or not, that she thinks the relationship failure is a little bit my fault. She’s from a generation where serving a husband was the only point of a woman’s life. 

I remember over the summer, her and my sister were staying at my house overnight because my grandma had a doc appt in the city. She is a morning person, I’m not. I’m not used to talking to people before about 9-9:30 am. So when she got up in the morning and I was a bit cranky I mentioned that I’m not a morning person, and I don’t talk to people before 9 am. and she goes "well what if you had a husband that wanted to talk to you in the morning?" 
I said "well he’d learn not to, or he wouldn’t be my husband!" 
and she was totally flabbergasted by that, and a little offended. I think she really doesn’t get that I don’t live my life to please a man. Like, I think that she thinks the only reason I’m so independent is because I haven’t found a husband yet.

In reality, I just am this independent, and will be, whether or not there’s a guy involved. I’m not going to drop my career and turn into Holly Housewife if/when a man comes around. She definitely doesn’t get that. 

I know, she was born in a different era, and the world has changed so much in her life, and she probably won’t ever really understand how we live now. So, that’s why I’m ranting about it here instead of telling her she’s wrong.