A Skunk story or what happed to Pepé Le Pew?

This happened a long time ago when my kids were small and my wife was lovingly obedient.  It was an age in my life and my family’s life of innocence.  Sadly that has all been stripped away.   I lived in New Hampshire at the time where I originally hail from.  One day in the middle of the summer I went out to my garage when I discovered Pepé Le Pew.  It was a two bay garage and housed all my plumbing appurtenances to my successful plumbing business.  In the beginning he was half deep and I tried in vain to shoo him away.  It only got worse and he/she went further and further into the garage, finally resting in the back corner, protected by several boxes of PVC fittings.  I had to treat this little guy with kid gloves because if I didn’t, I feared he would splatter his/her obnoxious skunk juice all over my plumbing parts, rendering them useless.  This would have cost me thousands of dollars.
 
So now what do I do with Pepé Le Pew?  I went to Concord, the capital city of NH and found some federal agency on animal control.  I don’t think they exist anymore.  I told them my situation and they advised me to use a “have a heart trap,” which they freely lent to me.  I’m thinking that this isn’t going to work.  I figured if I were to get him in the cage, he/she is most certainly going to spray me with skunk juice.  After these thoughts passed me by, the agency preceded to advise me on how to do this.  They told me to bait this skunk Trojan horse with Skippy peanut butter.  Then they told me to put a blanket over the whole cage except for the entrance.  Finally they said I should check the trap the next day and I should have a skunk.  With the captured skunk now in custody, I made sure the blanket covered the whole trap.  For my safety it was now safe to transport.  They said because the skunk didn’t see you, they would not be threatened and consequently would not spray.  I now asked them what do I do now with Pepé Le Pew.  They advised me to execute Pepé Le Pew because he would continue to return.  They told me  a story of woman who safely relocated the skunk 10 miles away.  The woman in due time returned to the agency to tell the same skunk returned.  The feds asked how she knew it was the same skunk?  She told them she was sure because the the skunk was Albino.  My point here is the reason why they advise destroying the animal.  They made several suggestions to me on how to off the little fellah.  the most popular one was to hook the cage up to your vehicle exhaust.  Another suggestion was to throw the trap with the skunk still in it, into a lake or river.  Still another, shoot him and I forget the other suggestions.
 
Well I successfully captured the little fellah.  He was under the blanket now, still in his cage, feasting on Skippy peanut butter remnants.  I didn’t have the heart or the gumption to be a skunk murderer, especially having kids at my home.  “Dad what happened to Pepé Le Pew?”  Well I made it a family affair.  I loaded Pepé Le Pew in the back of the beach wagon with my wife and 3 kids in tow. Remarkably there was no odor other than a musty order during the entire trip.  He didn’t spray at all.  I must of drove more than 20 miles to a very wealthy community, old money, in New Hampshire, whereby we all waved goodbye to Pepé Le Pew as he swaggered his little ass away in to some farm land.  After reading your unusual connection to skunks, I felt compelled to share.  Take care my friend and I wish you luck with your skunk mission.