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That was the quickest long weekend ever.  It was nice though.

We got an extra day off too on Friday, we logged in as normal and the calls never came, the dialler was broken again.  Inbound queues were clear and no backups of TIO, we sat around surfing facebook for 3 hours waiting for the systems to be fixed, around the third hour they let us go home early.  Yay.

I spent Friday night at Emma’s with Jade too, she cooked us tea, dessert and we watched movies and gossiped.  God I love those girls so much, there’s never drama or negativity, it’s just us, I can talk and get stuff off my chest and listen to their problems too.  They’re my only friends down here that I’m 100% honest with and don’t hold a filter with.

I didn’t really do anything else this weekend.  I spent a lot of time at the gym.  I had today off because the muscles in my legs are killing me.  I’ve been challenging in my squat weight and my legs know it.  I’m happy with the weights I’m doing at the moment, I think I’ve ruined my wrist from fatigue in my triceps though, I’ve been wearing a support band hopefully that’ll help.  I can see the results in my body froms o much resistance work.  I reckon I could comfortably wear shorts now without feeling self conscious about my quads, they’ve always been so big and had so much cellulite.  I’ve managed to banish most of that now.

I no longer have a desire to be tiny like I used to when I first started going to the gym, that was the only reason I went, to get thin.  Now I just want to be bulky, I want to be able to see my muscles, not in a completely over the top way but I want people to be able to see it.  I got PJ’s book, he’s the guy that put on 50% of his body fat to go through the transformation of losing weight so he could relate to his clients.  It’s really interesting what he went through doing it.  He’s got a 3 month eating plan in there which I’m trying.  Today was my first day and it was hard.  Only because it was too much food fir what i’m used to.  I had 3 weetbix and 1 scoop protein for breakfast, I was meant to have turkey on cruskits for first break but I had none so I had another protein shake with 3 cruskits instead (they’re corn, I love them.)  Then at lunch I had 80gms of kangaroo in a pita pocket with carrot, tomato and red capsicum.  Last break I had 80gms chicken breast with 100gms sweet potato and 100gms steamed broccoli, I didn’t really feel like it because I’d already had a wholesome meal for lunch but I ate it and i felt more energetic during the arvo at work.  On the way home I had a protein shake and then tea mum made porterhouse steak and veg.  That’s SO MUCH FOOD!!  But nothing processed all day.  I craved sugar all. day. long.  We had a lolly stand at work which is filled with hundreds of dollars worth of lollies which we’re allowed to pick at all day, which I normally do and omg it killed me not to have sugar.  I did still have a morning coffee and diet coke with lunch, I’m not strict about these things, I don’t want to deprive myself.

I always crave dessert or something sweet after a healthy meal.  Lasagne, enchilladas, potato bake and I’m fine but give me meat and veg (which I love don’t get me wrong) but right now, even though my stomach is like OMGWHYDIDYOUEATSOMUCHTODAYIHATEYOU I’m like damn I want something full of sugar right now, I might have a mandarin, that’ll settle it, it won’t help me stop craving it though.

I just wanna see if anymore weight will come off, I by no means look bigger anymore, I look athletic and I am bulkier because of my muscles, I’d still like some off my butt and hips, where it all sits.  I just need to stop eating what I want for a while, I get this whole "what, I work my ass off at the gym all the time, I’ll eat what I want" which is cool, but just a break to clean out my system.  Plus I’ve always ruined myself by the end of the week with all that I exercise and crap/not enough calories in my body so I’m hoping once i’ve done a bit more cardio through the week I won’t feel like I’m eating too much, in reality it’s only about 1500 cals a day, it’s a just a lot more filling wholesome stuff than what I’m used to.

Megs is thinking about moving up to Broome with Nick who has just moved up there.  Sucks to be me because I’d lose my future housemate but I also get along with her so so well.  We’re in the same place in life where we both feel like we have nothing going for us, we both feel alone and like we should have some direction in our lives by now.  We both feel like losers haha.  It’d be so good for her though, I’d be happy for her even though I’d miss her like all hell.

Brendon is in Hamilton island with his fiance for Paul’s wedding, yes, my ex Paul who I dumped FOR Bren.  MEN!  It was like the most PERFECT timing ever because the guys he’s been training are on the floor with us and he would’ve been in my face for 9 hours straight a day which would’ve done my head in.  Hope he never comes back the desperate loser.

Okay I’m on my laptop WIFI’ing off my phone which is killing my battery so I’mma head 🙂 x