04/01/2011

I was going to write a proper entry but I really can’t be bothered right now.

An entry back one that I’m sure no one will want to read.  I lost my pop last week and I just wanted to write to get it out of my system.

I guess other news is that Bren broke up with his girlfriend 2 weeks ago.  He’s pretty messed up but we’ve been hanging out a bit.

It’s been wierd because we’re so used to being friends, we’ve never been like this before and it almost doesn’t feel right sometimes.

It is nice to have him there sometimes though.

Although I don’t know if it’s just because I’m becoming more antisocial, or I’m just not ready for a relationship but I’ve been freaking out more than I should lately.

Like I don’t want to see people if it messes with my gym stuff, I’d rather just sleep.

I’m meant to be going to a party tonight and one tomorrow night but I don’t want to go to either and I doubt I will.

I just want to be alone.

I want Bren there, but I don’t because it messes with my routine, it messes with my sleeping and my eating and my gym time and this shouldn’t be things that I’m actually concerned about.

I feel like I’ve got a lot of anxiety lately, not severe or anything, I don’t panic or anything but I’m more stressed than I should be since I have no reason to stress about anything.

I just woke up in a bad mood for some reason.  Bren was there and I just wasn’t in the mood, I just wanted to be by myself.  I get so annoyed when things don’t go how I want them to, I expect people to be able to read my mind and get so annoyed when they don’t.

I think it was an anxiety thing, I have to get up when my alarm goes off, get ready for work, have breakfast etc but he just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle and I was getting anxious cause I wasn’t doing anything, I was wasting time, in my head anyway.  Blah I have issues.

Hm half an attempt at entry I guess x