the last call

One of my biggest faults is my loyalty to my friends along with my empathy.  My therapist, Jenny, pointed out to me once a long time ago that I’m not just sympathetic; I tend to be empathetic too.  I’m not just sorry when my friends are hurting; I hurt with them.  Especially if its something I’ve been through myself.  Nathan is learning the harsh lesson that love doesn’t fix everything.  The love of his life is walking away from him, and he feels like his world is crashing down around his ears.  Its times like this when I wish I could be closer to my friends.  I don’t like being so far away and basically so helpless.  I’ve been texting him a lot, letting him know I’m here and thinking about him.  But I also know none of that really makes any difference.  It really hurts and there’s nothing that can change that.  It still hurts me to remember what I went through.  I don’t think you ever heal from something like this.  You learn how to live with that pain.  But the pain never goes away completely.  At least not for me.

She’s got a broken heart
Wearing the fake smile
So well to fool the world
And pretending everything’s fine
Empty bottles and old chip bags
Surround her on the floor

Damn my empathic gift
I swear its a curse
I remember what it felt like
The last call, the last tears
Crying hysterically in my car
Sitting on the side of the street
You’ll never leave me alone
I’ve come to accept this

But it still hurts
And my breath still turns cold
And my heart still stops
It will always hurt

I can be strong in the moment
I’ll stand firm, the soft shoulder
While she gets all the anger out
All of her tears staining my shirt
And her pain masked in hatred
Drips down my arm to the floor
My heart breaks for her
And then my heart breaks again for you

Cause it still hurts
And my breath still turns cold
And my heart still stops
It will always hurt

Still ~ Skirts & Sweaters

Link to song