Muriel!

 I’ve been working on my NaNoWriMo, even though its not the right month or anywhere inside the actual restrictions.  Its just the little story I started working on a few years back and pull it back out to work on again every so often.  I sometimes threaten that I will attempt NaNoWriMo, except use it not to start a new novel but to buckle down and finish this one.  Except November is the worst possible month ever for me to attempt to do such a thing.  Yes, it may sound lovely rolling off the tongue, but certainly not when it comes to the rest of my life. Anyways….

Short antidote from work last night.  I’m not as comedic as Jeff Foxworthy, but there’s a "You know you’re a redneck…" joke in here somewhere.  Yes, this is all true.

I got a phone call from a woman about one of the specials we’re running.  I explained the price and what came included.  During the conversation she was yelling my responses to her husband, John.  Then she said, "Oh, you just explain it to him" and handed him the phone.  So I explained it all again.  He said yes, they would like to do that special.  I asked which date would he like to book (its a Friday/Sunday special with certain blackout restrictions).  Now you have to imagine the yelling every time he starts taking to his wife.

John yells: "Muriel, do you want to do Friday or Sunday?"

Murel yells: "Not this weekend.  We have the pig roast."

John: "What about next weekend?"

Muriel: "Yah, I suppose that would be okay."

John to me:  "Ma’am, this next weekend here."

Me:  "Okay, would you prefer Friday or Sunday?"

John:  "Muriel?  Friday or Saturday?"

Me:  "That would be Friday or SUNDAY."

John:  "I mean Sunday."

Muriel:  "Not Sunday.  We have church."

John:  "But we could go after church."

Muriel:  "No, no.  Best do it on Saturday."

John:  "Ma’am, Saturday."

Me:  "Well, as I explained its only Friday or Sunday.  Not Saturday."

John:  "Muriel!  Only Friday or Sunday."

Muriel:  "Then Friday."

John:  "Ma’am, Friday please."

Me:  "Okay, sir.  May I have a name for the reservation?"

John:  "Muriel!"

Muriel:  "What?!"

John:  "Should I put it under my name or Billy’s?"

Muriel:  "Why should it matter?"

John:  "Ma’am, does it matter whose name I use?"

Me:  "Your name would be the best."

John:  "Okay. My name is…"

Me:  "Excellent!  Now do you have an email address I can send the confirmation letter to as well?"

John:  "Oh.  We don’t got that up here."

Me:  "Okay, no problem, sir.  Let me just explain a few policies to you…  And I’ll need a credit card to hold the reservation."

John:  "Oh.  Muriel!"

Muriel:  "What?"

John:  "They need a credit card."

Muriel:  "Well, go ask the neighbors for theirs."

John:  "No.  They used my tractor all day yesterday and pissed me off."

Muriel:  "You have to have a credit card?"

Me:  "Unfortunately without a credit card I won’t be able to guarantee the reservation."

John:  "Well, how do people stay with your hotel then?  How does the guarantee work?"

Me:  "They either use a credit card or come in beforehand and pay cash."

John:  "Oh.  Well, then that won’t work.  Thank you."

CLICK.

So glad I just wasted 15 minutes of my time explaining everything to you.  Still, it was somewhat of a surreal experience.  

"MURIEL!"

"WHAT?"