I’m regretting this already

I’m starting to feel the edges fade.  I’m ready to go, but not really.

I’m fiercely independent and am proud of what I have been able to do in the past.  As much as I bitched, I’m proud that I was able to move myself as many times as I’ve needed to.  I have gotten help, but very little and only desperate situations have helped me out.  Never planned either.  I do have great friends, but they are further and further away.  I’m trying to figure this out, the best way to move from western NY to western MI.  The cheapest, faster, best.  Its not really going very well so far.  I’ve getting to figure out the different options and their cost – not just monetary, but timewise and physical wear (ie – miles on my car…)

I am confident that it will be figured out and I won’t be living in a box.  What I’m tired of is the criticism, designed as advice, of what I’m thinking.  That’s a bad idea, this is a bad idea.  You’re a college student – how do you have so much?  I’m not a typical college graduate.  This home I’ve built here is just that – a home.  Its not just a little hole with a bed and fire pit.  Its my Home.  And I’m moving my Home from here to there – 450 miles away.

The loudest critics are those who have NEVER helped me move my Home.  They helped me move things, before these places were Home.  But they still view the house I grew up in as my Home.  It’s not that the place is cold or desolate, but its no longer my Home.  They seem to forget this.  I’m not moving my bed and things.  I’m moving my Home.  Those who sit by and criticize how I do everything are not helping.  They offer no options or assistance.  Only telling me what I can and cannot do.

And my parents wonder why I don’t ask them for help more often.