Relatively Drama-Free
Clearly I missed yesteryday. One missed is not bad though. I was exhausted from physical therapy in the morning and ended up taking a nap in afternoon after studying for my history exam in the evening. Then there was a church meeting which got me pretty riled up. There was a woman at the meeting who hasn’t been to my church in forever. She’s been attending a church in a different town, which is fine. But she kept passing judgement on what the church knew and didn’t know. Treated me like a child, like I didn’t have a right to be here. Hello?! I’m the Director of Music? Who are you? I was pretty steamed when I got home. Kelly was watching TV and I sat down to catch up on the election hoopla. I’m not going to get into a huge political discussion. But I’m glad I stayed up to the end, or rather what I viewed as the end – after the speeches. Who knows how long the news kept commentating. Regardless of whatever people think, this is a day for the history books. I don’t know that I’ll remember forever where I was when I heard the news. For me, it wasn’t like 9/11. That day is imprinted on my mind forever. But this election day was one of the books. I can now say I saw history being made. I went to bed around 2am, and just had no energy to type. So I missed…
Today my arm hurt. The PT is going well, but OW! I’ve got putty which I’m supposed to use to strengthen my arm and fingers. There are two exercises for each hand. My left hand is pretty good! My right…. OW! The hand doesn’t hurt really. My forearm is tight and painful, which makes my hand hurt. Tomorrow morning I’ve got more and again on Friday. **Sigh** I realized something today about myself. I’m starting to learn how to stand up to conductors and disagree with them firmly, loudly, although not necessary disrespectfully. At least not on the outside. The band conductor today was being stupid about a musical decision. I could tell he hadn’t thought AT ALL about it. We’re playing Four Scottish Dances by Malcolm Arnold. I’ve danced to almost all of them, if not at least heard them all. There is a reason things are done a certain way or another in Scottish music. Flips, turns, grace notes – They all have specific functions. They aren’t just for pretty decoration. Arnold kept that spirit. There’s also a timing issue that will arise if the flip is done wrong. Our conductor said it would be done the wrong way and I challenged him on it. I saw his haunches raise a bit and he said, "This is the way we’re doing in here, right now." I shrugged and said, "Fine, but its not authentic or correct." We played through the section and he looked over at me with that childish grin of his. "I guess it would work better the other way. I’ll think about it." I just rolled my eyes. He’s a poor conductor, but even so, the band is doing really well. My point is I’ve stopped being intimadated by conductors, especially the bad ones.
Kelly took me out to dinner tonight to say thanks for Sunday and the hospital and everything. It was very nice of her, especially cause she and I were both tired and didn’t want to cook. We were talking about how we both are perfectly happy doing our work, then coming home and being left alone. We do talk and hang out with each other and a few friends, but we’ve really removed ourselves from the tons of drama that seems to happen in the music building. For me, I’m still reeling from the drama of last year. I don’t care to get involved and get hurt by all that again. I don’t care for people who aren’t going to care for me. I also don’t feel like getting caught in the crossfire of a fight I had nothing to do with or even know was happening. To some degree, I feel a little sad about this, because I like people. Sometimes. I feel like I don’t have a ton of friends. But the drama in my life is really reduced. It centers around getting my work done and graduating. Also my roommate slicing her hand open. For once in my life, I’m not listening to someone complain about their life while I honestly don’t care. I get to choose who I offer my shoulder to. The rest I stay away from. And generally, they stay away from me.
Its really kind of nice.