Did he lie?

Its really late and I’m sick, but this is bothering me. So maybe writing it out will make it a little better.

I got a call from Mike on Wednesday around noontime. I didn’t have my phone on me so I didn’t hear it ring and didn’t answer. He didn’t leave me a message, but it was only an hour later so I called him back. He answered almost immediately and said he was running errands, could he call later. I said of course, I was driving around the MidWest visiting people. The next time I heard from him was a message he left at 3:30 on Saturday morning. He was teasing me and said that if I had answered the phone he could have asked me a question. If I had $5,000 would I gamble it or save it? So I called him on Saturday as I was driving back to school and left him a message saying if he didn’t call at 3:30 in the morning I might actually answer the phone. He called me Sunday while I was in church and chatised me for sleeping in so late on a Sunday. I called him back as I was driving back home from church. We chatted for a few minutes but he was shopping with his sister, could he call later? No problem. It’s now Tuesday night/Wednesday morning and no call. I’m not mad about the no call because I’ve been really sick (spent the morning in the ER!) and have been sleeping a lot. So what bothers me?

When we talked on Sunday I asked him when he got to New York. He said yesterday (meaning Saturday.) I asked him when he got back to TX and the States in general. He answered only two days ago, meaning Friday or even Thursday on the outside. But he called me on Wednesday. At noon. An hour later, he was running errands. So the question that has been circling my brain and driving me nuts – Why did he lie? Did he lie or was it just a misunderstanding? I don’t care that he doesn’t call or write or email when he’s on the ship. I don’t even care whether or not he calls me the day he returns. But he called me on Wednesday and on Sunday told me he only got back two days earlier. Why? Did he lie or was it just a misunderstanding between us?

Either way – its driving me nuts cause I don’t like being lied to and I’m not sure if he did or not. His not calling makes me wonder what’s going on. His not calling makes me think he’s found someone else, that he and I are over and done. I was convienient when I was home, but now that I’m at school its too much of a hassel. I can feel my heart starting to reinforce the outerwalls and preparing for seige. I don’t like the feeling, but I don’t have much of a choice. I’m just worried that the relationship would be over. Which wouldn’t be so bad, but its gonna hurt and I know its gonna hurt. I don’t like being hurt, which is why I’ve tried to walk away first in the past.

The problem right now is I have too much time to think. Bedrest and a liquid diet on doctor’s orders, but he didn’t tell my brain to shut down. I want some more of those nice drugs from the ER that made me sleepy. I don’t think so much when I’m sleeping…..