Questions Finally Answered

How bad am I? Not only to I basically drop of the face of OD-world for a few weeks, but I never answered all the questions. Well, here they are finally!!!!

1 Which friend(s) do you admire most and why?
Megan – She’s dealt with so much and she’s still strong. She has two beautiful girls and has battled alcoholism with herself and her father. She’s dealt with a divorce and a crazy ex-husband, but she’s still a decent human being. She treats her husband with respect and refuses to deny him access to their children. I mean, he’s nuts but he’s never harmed the children. And she refuses to take his children completely away from him. Admist all this, she’s always been there for me. She’s always been able to listen to me and help me. Because she’s known me for so long and we’ve been through so much together, she knows me amazingly well. Anyways – I admire her because she’s never defeated. She gets kicked in the gut, but she never completely gives up.

2 First time was…
….with Mike. In a RV in his friend’s driveway. I was scared and freaked out and he was really great, especially afterwards.

3 Play any instruments?
I play piano, oboe, and English horn. Those are the main instruments that I play. But I can also play flute, clarinet, chanter, penny whistle, and a little organ. Music is my life.

4 Any you want to try, if so why/why not?
There is some alcoholic drinks that are banned in the US because of their high alcoholic content. I might like to try one of those one day. But as for other drugs, I don’t know. I’ve done pot. Maybe X, but only in the safest enviroment ever. I tend to say certain things when I’m really drunk. I’ve brutally honest and harsh sometimes. And I can’t always walk in a straight line. But I’m also surrounded by friends who trust and love me. They look out for me and make sure I don’t do something like sit in a fire. So I dunno.

5 Your definition?
Love sucks. Love doesn’t fix everything, it doesn’t solve problems. Love creates issues. Love hurts. Love destroys people. Love breaks hearts. Love makes people do stupid things. Love makes people do hateful things. Love kills. Love shatters. Love is the best thing in the world.

6 Follow any religion, why/why not?
I’m a Christian. I believe in Jesus Christ, the only Son of the Lord our God. I believe he died on the cross to save my sins and only through him can I be saved. That’s the easy answer. I constantly question my faith every step of the way. But faith is jumping without knowing, believing without seeing. And I have faith in God, at least most of the time.

* What would you eat as your last meal?
How interesting. My last meal? I don’t care what I would eat. I’d be happy with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But I would want my friends and family around me. I would want to be able to spend one last time enjoying their company and seeing them.

~ [shesolovely]

1. “See, I bailed you out of jail because… “
….trespassing on train tracks isn’t such a bad thing.

2. “Well, that does suck. Reminds me of the time… “
….when I kissed my ex-boyfriend and it felt like kissing a Hoover vacuum cleaner. I think he was trying to eat my face!

3. “No way! The soundtrack of ‘…’ is much better!”
…..The Lord of the Rings…. Howard Shore is a genius.

4. “Okay, but this is the last time you get … for $30.”
….a carton of cigarettes…. (God, don’t ask about that!)

5. “He needed a story about love. So I told him… “
…..about my parents. After almost 30 years, they are still in love with each other. And then I told him about my grandparents. Fifty years married and they were so in love with my grandfather died. Both couples take care of each other and protect each other and yet give each other the space they need. My parents have this amazing about of trust for each other. My father has female friends and my mother has male friends. And neither are intimidated by that. I’ve questioned them about it. Their love includes trust, honesty, and just about everything I hope to have in my marriage. Anyways – I have no stories in love that don’t end in pain. So I’d tell him about my parents and grandparents.

6. “Wait, how come your religion allows you to… “
…come back in another form. I’ve studied the Eastern Religions and although I don’t agree or believe most of it, I understand how and why people do. I respect the religion for what it is. But I don’t get reincarnation. It just never works out in my head. If people are reincarnated until they reach nirvana, what happens when everybody reaches nirvana? I mean there are a finite number of beings in the world. If one reaches nirvana, then there are finite-minus-one number of beings. I just keeping thinking of that “99 bottles of beer on the wall” song. Eventually you reach zero. So then what? The only answer I’ve ever gotten from a professor about that consisted of this idea that the souls that reach nirvana are then recycled. They are put back on earth. So that means nirvana isn’t really nirvana. You reach nirvana then you have to restart all over again!? That’s the one thing about Eastern Religions that continually turns me off to them. I don’t get that part.

7. “Ugh! I was so angry …
….I saw red. I mean literally. It was in a bell choir rehearsal. The guy standing next to me, Sam, was a prick. He only started ringing in 8th grade and he wasn’t all that good. I mean, musically he’s good, but his technique was weak. Playing bells is different than any other instrument. Anyways, we had this piece that was really difficult. The rest of the choir had worked all summer on tour to perfect the piece. He had decided not to come on the tour and therefore didn’t learn his part. Once we were back home, he had to try and catch up to us. He couldn’t get this one rhythm correct. Everyone else was fine, but he just couldn’t do it. Then he started blaming me, saying I didn’t know how to do it right. I lost it. I was sick, I was tired and annoyed by him. I started screaming at him. Not really quite sure what I was screaming, because my ears were dulled and all I saw was his head surrounded by the color red. The director and the rest of the choir just kept ringing because they were so scared. Craig, another kid in the choir, had started counting really loud because he was so terrified. I calmed down just a bit and went back to ringing. But I never forgot how angry I was. Seriously, I wanted to hurt him. I lost control and I lost my temper. Which I’ve done before, but never to that extreme. I saw red. I’ve heard the saying before, “I was so mad I saw red” but I always thought it was a metaphor. I never want to be that mad again because I don’t know how far it will go. I don’t know what I would do at that point.

1. What friend would you call to beat someone up?
Megan. Absolutly. She knows not only how to beat someone without getting caught, but she knows how to inflict the most pain.
After her, Nathan – Firehouse boys fight in packs and they fight dirty.

2. What is your most memorable sex experience?
Wow. Don’t know. Most memorable? As opposed to best? Cause I gotta say they are too different things. Most memorable would probably be in my car in the magic park. Mike was leaving for six months and he came to say goodbye. He and I ended up driving around and talking for a long time. We got coffee and ended up parked by a creek for a while. Then he started driving, trying to find a dark little corner. Parked on the street freaked me out way too much. I was too afraid, so we kept driving. He found this rec park and no one was there. In the backseat with only the full moon watching, we said goodbye. I’ll remember that forever. That and the night I lost my virginity.

3. Ah gee, this is intimidating! What is your favorite instrumental music?
That’s tough because there’s so many genres I enjoy. Jazz, Big Band, Classical, Romantic, Baroque, Neo-Romantic, piano, oboe, strings, worship, the list goes on and on and on. And I love them for different and various reasons.

4. Any regrettable drug experiences?
Any time I’ve had so much to drink I end up throwing up. I hate throwing up. I mean, I really hate throwing up.

5. What is Love to You?
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.

6. Favorite commandment to break? …or not break! 😛
I try to remember to honor my father and mother. They really did the best job they were able and through everything else, they always loved me. They made mistakes, but they only did these things out of love. I think because of that, I should remember to honor them.

7. Who will your debut CD be dedicated to?
Wow. That’s not a fair question! Probably to my parents. They have always been there for me and tried to support me the best way they knew how. And they truly are the most amazing people I know.
~ [Shazar]