stones to throw at my creator

Short little update. I can’t type well because I’m wearing a splint. Why? Oh yes, I have carpal tunnel syndrome. So I’m wearing a wrist splint now except when I’m sleeping or practicing oboe. I’m having nerve studys done to figure out how much nerve damage has been done. Dr. Kathy is great. She told me that this wouldn’t keep me from playing oboe, which is what I really needed to hear. After the nerve studys we’ll figure out the best treatment and start right away.

I’m still scared because I feel like I keep getting smacked over and over. If its not one thing, its something else. But going to see Kathy helped somewhat. She gets that oboe is important to me and she won’t let the CTS stop my playing.

Anyways, school sucks right now and I hate my macro teacher. She’s making us take our final up at main campus at 8:30 in the morning the week after classes are done. Part of going to the south campus is not having to go to the main campus. Oh well. I’m more concerned with my wrist.

Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds

Wish I’d died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries

And you don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds

You don’t need to bother;
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I’ll never live down my deceit

Bother ~ Corey Taylor