Thoughts

My OD is for me, generally speaking. I do surveys and answer questions and occassionally even write entries based on other diarist’s entries. But the drama in my life isn’t from OD. Its from “real” life, not virtual life. And its a nice seperation. I can bitch about people and stay annonymous. I had one really good friend who was ready my TOD and then my OD. And part of our fallout had to do with things written on OD and taken out of context. So I built that wall between my “real” friends and my “virtual” friends. There isn’t drama with my virtual friends like with my real friends. So back to that wall. No one has crossed it really either way, since Heather. OD lets me get out supressed feelings. They are usually raw and unfiltered. What were to happen if someone crossed that line? What if someone from “ODland” crossed that line and entered my “real” life? Would I be able to record the drama on OD, or would it become private? And what if a great OD-relationship fails to work as a real-life relationship and goes down in flames? Could we go back? Would we want to at that point? I know, I know, great reward needs great risk. But am I willing the risk that much?

Terrible twos, pre-adolescent moods, the teen years – who said childhood was fun? From here, it looks like childhood sucks! But honestly, I think your early twenties are the worst. Why don’t they warn you about it? I know pre-teen and teen years would suck and they did. But I never that turning twenty only made things worse. Its a sucky age especially in this culture. When my parents were around my age, they were almost married and relatively independent of their parents. Today, parents need to support their kids into their twenties, especially if they’re in college. So how do you be dependent and independent at the same time? As a kid, what Dad says goes. You accept what they say as truth (in general). But at twenty, (even nineteen) you have your own thoughts and you are questioning what you might have once accepted. But for those in college, still on parental support, its tough to be questioning them while asking for tuition money. Its a clash of the powers and thats the point I’m at right now. Its hard to find a balance.