Psych babbling

School started last week. Actually I’m in Psych right now. It takes her forever to take attendence. So the rat race has begun. None of my classes seem impossible although it won’t be easy. On Monday and Wednesday, I have Macro-Economics and English. Macro is going to be tough, but I think doable. English is going to take time, but I love that professor. He’s funny and blunt and really engaging. I like him. My other two days are Developmental Psychology and Philosophy of World Religions. My Psych prof is something else. She sounds like she’s readying a bedtime story, but sometimes borders on being another Dr. Ruth. This little unassuming woman talks about sex, but she doesn’t always come out and say it. When she does, its highly disturbing. She also takes twenty minutes to explain something that should really only take five minutes. Its kind of annoying. I can drift off for a good ten minutes and not miss a thing. My Philosophy teacher is the same woman I had last time. She makes me nuts. She believes in a feminine divine, which doesn’t bother me. But she has this attitude about it. She’s always talking about it. She also has the assumption that everyone is “well-versed” in Christianity, and to an extent Judiasm. Its a dangerous misconception. We live in a pretty diverse area. There are temples, mosques and synagoges on the same street as churches. Anyway, not everyone is a Christian or was raise in a Catholic church. It annoys me. Also, as a teacher of “World Religions” I would imagine that she would know all the religions, or at least the ones she is going to teach. She knows about her religion which is based around the feminine divine, but not a whole lot else. As I said, I don’t care what she believes, but she lests it cloud and affest her teaching. That bugs me. But starting off in that class, knowing that, I’m more prepared for dealing with it. Its only been two weeks, but I’m averaging six to eight hours of studying a day. So far, that includes Friday and Saturday. But I’m rather enjoying it. I’ve missed school. I’ve missed that mind-expanding experience. And I’m so happy not to be working. Not to constantly try to think five steps ahead of the attorneys.

I went North Labor Day weekend. Dot had knee replacement surgery about eight weeks ago. She’s been mostly stuck at home with John. She was ready to kill him, so she shipped him off to Savannah to see their son. So she was alone for a week. It was so great to see her. we spent a long time talking about things. She really has been given the gift of wisdom. And she understands the importance of validation, especially for me as an adult. We talked about school and the dependency I need to have to be successful at school. My parents love to control me and their form is financial control. But I really can’t work fulltime and go to school. The biggest drain on my money is therapy and the meds. But I have to. The therapy and drugs are keeping me alive. My car problems aren’t helping either. And now gas is sky-rocketing. Hopefully it won’t reach four dollars, although I strongly believe someday soon it will. I’m hoping just not too soon.

I know a lot of people go to school and work at the same time. I don’t think I could take these four classes and work, because they are so difficult for me. And all that is compounded by past failures and, in general, bipolarism. I have to say, I’m glad I’m not dealing with Mike or any other guy for that matter. Maybe its being selfish, but I gotta take care of me. I can’t focus any time, energy or money into some guy. And there’s the emotional and mental side to a relationship, which I’m really not in a position to deal with. Its really a lot of work. Eventually, I’ll be ready to deal with a guy, but not now.

Oh and my computer looks bleak. I’m bringing her to a friend and maybe he can save it, but I’m not holding my breath. Which means I need a computer. My mother thinks I should just use the computers at school and the soon-to-be home computers. But the idea of that is making me stressed. I have plenty of money in my education fund, so I have to convince my father I really need the computer. That’s happening on Saturday.

I’ve already talked to Mom about using my education money for a computer and she shot the idea down. My macro paper is going to be major and I need to be able to use my computer so we’ll see what Dad says on Saturday.