Five Questions

Ahhh, the questions. You couldn’t pick simple ones like “What’s your favorite color?” Just kidding. I love stuff like this.

HERE ARE THE RULES:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me!”
2. I will respond asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions!
3. Only respond if you are willing to answer ANY questions I ask you.
4. Update your OD with the answers to the questions I ask you.
5. Post this in your diary and repeat with other people.

I was asked these five questions:

1. If you were to define your life with a motto, what would it be?
Suicide is always an option. Keep it that way.
This has a lot to do with my being bipolar and getting depressed. (For more information, see my entry on Living with Bipolarism, accessible from the front page.) This is something that has kept me alive some nights. People who try to tell me I can’t kill myself, that suicide is never an option, are making things worse. Suicide is constantly an option. It will always be an option. That will never change. But it has to be kept as an option. And that has kept me alive. So that would be my motto.

2. Do you believe in Karma? If so, how does your belief affect you?
I don’t really believe in Karma. I’d like to, but it doesn’t always happen. People don’t always get whats coming to them, good or bad. I’m a Christian and something that affected my life very deeply is The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. They are a series of fictious letters written from one demon to his younger demon friend. Anyways, one thing he mentions is that when people are far from God, leave them alone. Often times hardship and heartache will chase them closer to God. So basically it is this idea that once you get closer to God, and start “being good” (not that all Christians are perfect), the devil will come after you, start attacking you. I’m not sure if that made sense. I guess, I live my life thinking “Something’s gotta go wrong, cause I’m feeling way too good.” When things are good, I’m waiting for that other shoe to drop. And I’ll watch people lie and cheat and get away with it, while me over here working my butt off and I get socked with everything. So thats what I have to say about that.

3. What is your greatest pet peeve? Are you ever guilty of it?
Angry ignorance, maybe better called arrogance. You know those people who think they know everything and get so damn angry when you challenge anything they think or say. I think I’m pretty smart and I think I know something about some things. But there are definitly things I don’t know about and things I have no clue about. When I find something I don’t understand or don’t know, I try not to get “arrogant” and pretend to make it all up, but rather ask someone who might know, try to learn something. And yes, I’m guilty of being arrogant and pretending to know everything about something I have no clue about. I also can’t stand when people use the argument “You’re stupid!” instead of calming explaining why they disagree with what I said. And yeah, I’ve been guilty of that too. I try to catch myself and stop myself, but I’m not perfect.

4. What would a full day of pampering you consist of?
A full-day? Wake up to someone I love and care for. Eat pancakes and an omlette for breakfast, without getting out of my pjs. Go soak in a warm spa with music playing. Go swimming in a cold pool, then back to the spa. Get a body massage, focus on head and hand massages. Get a manicure and a pedicure. Have someone do my hair, have someone do my makeup. Put on a fancy dress that makes me feel and look gorgous. Take a limo to a fancy restaurant with my lover (dressed in a tuxedo), that overlooks the Hudson River. Get back into the limo and go to hear the Boston Pops or the London Symphony Orchestra or the New York Philharmonic play something by Mahler. Go to the top of the Marriot (I believe its the Marriot) to the spinning bar. Its a bar that spins around for a 360 degree view of the city. Have a drink and dessert. Go to a hotel where the beds get turned down for you and there’s a mint on the pillows and sink into bed with my prince. To me, that would be pampered.

5. What are the 3 most important characteristics of an ideal mate? The 2 least important?

1 – Respect. Its a huge deal to me. Respect leads to trust and honesty and love and honor. Respect my family; they are a huge part of who I am. Respect my oboe and my music; it makes up another part of me. Respect himself, because this relationship is not just about me. Respect for other people; be polite, show some respect. Respect for my friends; they were here first. Respect for his friends; they were there first. It all comes down to respect.

2 – Faith. My faith is a very integral part of who I am. Its something my parents passed to me and I want to pass to my children. No, this is not just tradition, it is what I believe. I am a Christian and I want to raise my children as Christians. I am not close-minded or a sheep. I’m not following the herd, but its what I believe and how I want to raise my children (cause yah, I want kids too).

3 – Bipolar/Manic-Depressive. This is almost more important than respect and faith, because this is my life we’re talking about. Don’t pretend you understand, cause you don’t. Try to learn about and care that I have it. And know that you will never completely understand it. Its indescribable until you have it. And I don’t want you to have it. One crazy person is enough. Know my signs, my ticks, my signals, and then listen to my words. Pay attention, cause I’m nuts. Really. If my bipolarism is going to be a problem for you, than I am a problem for you. There is nothing that is going to seperate this away from me and I wouldn’t want it to. So accept it or go away.

Least Important would be musically-inclined and tall. They would be nice, but I might end up falling for a tone-deaf midget and I’d be ok with that.