i never thought i’d walk away from you

Write, write, write…..update, update….

What’s happened? Well, I slept with Eddie and that was bad. He was bad and it was bad and I don’t want to go back.

Mike got back. I drove to Albany to pick him up from his friend Jeff’s house. He spent the night here at the house and then I drove him to Ali’s to pick up his bike. He went back to the city.

He called tonight (we’ve talked a few times since then) and he was going to FL on another ship. He needed to come up here and pick up his bags. He told me he’d be in and out cause he had to drive down to FL. He said he was bringing a friend. He called when he was closer and I asked who he was with. He said a friend, and then he said it was his girlfriend.

When he got here I asked him when they got back together and he said last night. He wasn’t sure what was gonna happen and he knew it was awkward for me. I told him I had no claim on him. He said he felt bad that he was leaving so soon. I told him I knew he would go out as soon as he found a job and it was probably better this way anyways. I gave him a hug and told him to take care of himself. His hug was strange, like he wanted to say something more. I dunno.

I don’t know why I’m letting this get to me, but it is.

I don’t feel the way I’ve ever felt.
I know.
I’m gonna smile and not get worried.
I try but it shows.

Anyone can make what I have built.
And better now
Anyone can find the same white pills.
It takes my pain away.

It’s a lie. A kiss with open eyes
And she’s not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Nevermind these are hurried times.
Oh oh oh
I can’t let it bother me.

I never thought I’d walk away from you.
I did.
But it’s a false sense of accomplishment.
Every time I quit

Anyone can see my every flaw.
It isn’t hard.
Anyone can say they’re above this all.
It takes my pain away.

It’s a lie. A kiss with open eyes
And she’s not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Nevermind these are hurried times.
Oh oh oh
I can’t let it bother me.

I can’t let it bother me.

It takes my pain away.

It’s a lie. A kiss with open eyes
And she’s not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Nevermind these are hurried times.
Oh oh oh
I can’t let it bother me.

Takes my pain
Takes my pain
Takes my pain
Takes my pain away

Pain ~ Jimmy Eat World