is this the place we used to love

I think people are great creatures. They are all so different and unique. I think part of growing up is finding that part of you that makes you different. And even if you share ideas with other people, you are still your own person. I feel sorry for those people that never really grew up completely. Those people that are parrots just repeating what they hear and see. I think the final stage of maturity is when you learn that you can think for yourself. You have your own ideas of the world and the people in it. You have your positions on how things should be done.

There are definitly people who never look beyond their bubble. They never break out of the small world they create for themselves. I feel sorry for those people, because they usually end up being very close-minded. They grew up knowing and living one thing, and they don’t realize how many other different things are out there. It doesn’t occur to them that there are people who think totally different than they do. These people tend to take things at face value. They are parrots as well. Whatever is said in their bubble is law and reality. They never question that maybe what they are being told is distorted and they never look beyond the surface.

There are definitly people who do look deeper, who do question everything they are told. These people challenge everything they see, hear, touch. Nothing to them is certain or absolute. These people are rare and in their final stages of maturity. What seperates us from the animals? The ability to be this different from each other. The ability to think outside the box. A squirrel in New York lives differently than a squirrel in Michigan. But it never occurs to them that their are other squirrels outside their bubble-world. It never occurs to them there is another way to live and survive. Humans can open their eyes and see farther than their own backyard. I think those that are in this final stage of maturity realize how their actions and words can affect other people. They are cautious and careful with how they say things, and usually able to admit they are ignorant or even wrong.

Now don’t get these people confused with that group of people who question everything for the sake of questioning. They are no better than the parrots and squirrels who don’t question their world. They sit in coffee shops, dress in black and spend their lives glowering at the world. They think they are rebels and outcasts, but they are far from it. They think they are better than the people who question and look deeper. To them, those people are clueless and wandering, lost without an idea. They think they are better than the parrots and squirrels who don’t look deeper, but they fail to look deeper themselves. They challenge everything on the principal of challenging everything, but they have no answers and no solutions. They complain about the state of the world, but fail to take action and change anything.

Maturity is the trip of going through those stages. As a child, you parrot everything your parents tell you. You don’t question that Mommy and Daddy know best, or that they are feeding you ecologically friendly foods. As you grow older, you challenge them. You challenge your teachers. You challenge every form of authority you run across. Your parents are stupid, your teachers are mean and makes horrid demands. But you don’t have solutions or better ways to do things. You complain because you can and you push the boundaries because you can. You start asking questions that have no right or wrong answers just because you can. And you scoff and the answers and solutions people suggest to you. As you reach the final stage of maturity, you finally begin to form answers of your own. True, they are influenced by the other stages of maturity and what you have learned there, but these answers are your own. You truly understand the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” You pry deeper into the answers you are given, and into the answers you create yourself. The question “What is the meaning of life?” is no longer a drunken topic of discussion, it is a real puzzling issue. You destroy and recreate your beliefs and ideals over and over again as you try to find meaning to your life.

Some people fine simple answers to those questions. They find meaning in their children, or their jobs. They discover their true joy lies in their children’s laughter or a job well-done. Their answers to questions and issue are based on what they decide is important to them.

I’m almost jealous of those people. For some reason, simple answers like that don’t satisfy me. My reasons for living, my “meaning to life” is much more complex, and there is much I still haven’t found answers to. I can find reasons and pleasures in the moment, but they aren’t life-long answers. The can provide reasons to live for one more day, but they fail when the time period is longer. Each day I’m destroying and rebuilding my reasons for getting out of bed. I’m redesigning my beliefs and views on the world. I’m not steady or constant or stable. I’m constantly shifting, changing, remaking.

There are some days when I just wear myself out and I long for those simple answers. I long for pleasures and meaning to what I do. I wish I knew that what I did mattered and that I’m not living for nothing. But those comforts seem to elude me, and I’m forced to push through alone.

Maybe thats what I feel so utterly alone sometimes. I can’t figure out what is important to me. I can’t find a reason for living. I feel as though I’m toiling on through the darkness, utterly alone. I feel as though I’m wandering aimlessly and making no progress. And every time the darkness clears and I can see again, I’m right back where I started. Its a constant struggle to find that someplace that I can call my own, someplace that I can feel safe and comforted. Somewhere only we know….

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I’m getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I’m getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I’m getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go
So why don’t we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go
Somewhere only we know?

Somewhere Only We Know ~ Keane