happy in the haze of a drunken hour
I’m a pessimist at heart but an optomist by sheer will power. I remember reading the books and watching movies where high school was a horrifying, scar-inflicting experience. Those people looked back on high school and hated it, calling it the worst time of their life. So I made a conscience choice to “make the best of it.” I wanted to have fun and enjoy the last of my “childhood” before really joining the “grown-up world.” Now don’t get me wrong. There were somethings in high school that really sucked and scarred me forever, maybe more than the average kid. But on the whole, I did enjoy high school. I enjoyed working up the social ladder from freshman scum to senior goddess. On the whole, I enjoyed my friends and my classes. I think some of that may have been in retaliation to jr. high, which I hated. Its a bad memory punctuated with a few good moments. My high school memories are mostly good with a few bad spots.
I just wonder sometimes if I’m really too much of an optomist. Even when things are bad, I’ll put on a happy face and try to find the good things. And I’m sure thats a good quality, but at some point you have to be able to stand up and say, “Yeah, this sucks and I’m unhappy.” Somethings gotta change. With high school, you don’t really have a choice. You go to the place where the district tells you to go. I suppose you do have more of a choice than in younger grades, but still. And there’s a light and a prize at the end of the tunnel – graduation and your diploma.
I lost my point. The point is I’m not happy. I’m miserable and the constant faking, it’s really killing me.
I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I’m miserable now
I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I’m miserable now
In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don’t care if I live or die ?
Two lovers entwined pass me by
And heaven knows I’m miserable now
I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I’m miserable now
In my life
Oh, why do I give valuable time
To people who don’t care if I live or die ?
What she asked of me at the end of the day
Caligula would have blushed
“You’ve been in the house too long” she said
And I (naturally) fled
In my life
Why do I smile
At people who I’d much rather kick in the eye ?
I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I’m miserable now
“You’ve been in the house too long” she said
And I (naturally) fled
In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don’t care if I live or die ?
Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now ~ The Smiths