Circles of Society

Like hair color, facial expressions and gait, I’ve inherited many things from my parents. I have my mother’s eyes and my dad’s chin. I also inherited their busy life styles. Every week is packed with work, school, church and time with friends. Each activity puts me in contact with different people. I even act differently around them, from the way I dress and talk to the topics we discuss.

Sunday mornings are spent at church. My family gets there early and stays long after most people have left. I usually wear jean skirts and comfortable shirts. I’ve been going there since I was young and have many adopted grandparents, aunts and uncles. They usually all assume I’ve been out partying late Saturday night. With hugs and winks, they laugh at my tired yawns and ask how school and work is going. I rarely tell them everything, merely replying with “I’m keeping busy. Things are fine.” Few of them know of the killer history exam or the drama at work. Everything is said in a loving, Christian way. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone yell or loudly argue. It can be calming, but I’m left wondering what is just beneath the surface waiting to bubble over. And I wonder how well these people really know me.

During the week, I work in a conservative law firm. The dress code is strict, no pants, denim or open-toed shoes allowed. My skirts are usually past my knees and stockings are a must. Although we do joke around sometimes, the air is pretty formal and stern. When personalities conflict, they are quietly settled behind closed doors with hushed tones. My father tought me long ago, you don’t have to like everyone in the world but you have to be able to work with them. There is sometimes forced politeness and silent catty looks between people, but on the whole work gets done. Attorneys sometimes speak harshly to the secretaries, who will retreat to the bathroom to regain their composure. There are a precious few people I consider friends in the office. They know about my latest boyfriend and difficulties in school. But most are cordial and probably don’t even know my boyfriend’s name. In some ways, It is similar to church, in that I wonder what people really think of me behind their polite smiles and greetings. I spend most of my time with them, but do they really know me?

In school, I’m very different. I usually dress in jeans and a band T-shirt or comfy sweatshirt. I’m not as concerned with my appearance as I am with being comfortable. The individual class atmosphere does depend a bit on the teachers, but in general the air is more relaxed than at work or church. Although I never want to offend someone, I feel like I don’t have to censor what I say as much. Even so, I only interact with these people once or twice a week. They may agree that the English term paper is difficult, but they don’t know about the annoying attorneys I deal with everyday or how much church means to me. On their side, I don’t know their daily struggles either. I wonder how well they think they know me.

There is another group of people whom I interact with regularly. They mostly don’t care how I dress or how I talk. My friends tend to accept me for who I am. Even so, I mostly dress in jeans and T-shirts around them. Our conversation topics tend to linger around the gossip of our group, music and movies. Our language tends to be vulgar and full of inside jokes and jibes. Even so, none of them know what it’s like to work in a law firm full of pompous attorneys. They don’t know how important church is to me. Some of them are in school and can sympathize when I stress over a paper I already handed in. Still, I wonder. Do they really know me?

I’m not sure I could survive without even one of these social circles. They provide comfort, money, education and friendship. Although I don’t think one is more important than the other. Even though I dress, act and interact with each group differently, they all make up a part of me.
ed them but eventually went into the sanctuary and practiced for Sunday. I didn’t get home until 8:30 and then my mom had dinner for me and wanted to talk. I love talking with my mom, but yet again its late and I’m going to bed without finished work that really should be done. I might flake out on Philosophy if Melissa is in Psych. She’s failing English but in a way I don’t feel sorry for her. She’s taking 5 classes, has 2 kids, and she’s trying to sell her house. Only last week did it occur to her that she should drop her classes. She’s trying, and I know she has a lot on her plate. But she misses classes and doesn’t pay attention in class. Susan is having trouble in English, but at least she is there every day and she’s working at it.

Anyways, I’m tired and I’m sick, so I’m going to bed.

Erupt again ignore the pill
And I won’t let it show
Sacrifice the tortures
Orchestral tear cash-flow
Increase delete escape defeat
It’s all that matters to you
Cotton case for an iron pill
Distorted eyes
when everything is clearly dying

Burn my knees and
Burn my knees and
Burn my knees and
E-motion sickness
Addict with no heroine
E-motion sickness
Distorted eyes
when everything is clearly dying

Burn my knees and
Burn my knees and pray
Burn my knees and
Burn my knees and pray
[All my friends say]
Get up get up get up get up
Get up get up get up
Won’t you stop my pain

E-motion sickness
(To idle with an idol)
Addict with no heroine
Good things will pass
It helps with excess access
Lessons learnt

E-motion sickness
(Lost no friendship)
(Corrosive head pollution)
Lessons learnt

Emotion Sickness ~ Silverchair

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