March 3, 2005

Breathing in Bottles

Its not that the room lights up
When you walk in the door
People never stop and stare
When you past them by
But there is something about your presence
That keeps a room alive

And I sigh as the room sighs
As you enter from the side door
No one may notice you but the walls
And I sigh as the room sighs

Its the calming way that you take in
Every person in the room
Even though they don’t notice you
Smiling and nodding you slip between
The rock stars and movie scenes
They don’t know that the room sighs

Its like the walls relax their weight
Against your shoulders
The roof and floor no longer fight
Gravity is suspended for a moment
And everything is just alright
Although no one can explain why

Why I sigh as the room sighs
As you enter from the side door
No one may notice you but the walls
And I sigh as the room sighs

So demanding, insecure
Disillusioned and unsure
Everyone for a moment realizes things are ok
Silently, reliably
Sympathetic and caring
You could hold up the room on your own

And I sigh as the room sighs
As you enter from the side door
No one may notice you but the walls
And I sigh as the room sighs

Hear the deepest truth, if just for tonight

Hear the deepest truth, if just for tonight
(And I sigh as the room sighs)
Hear the deepest truth, if just for tonight
(As you enter from the side door)
Hear the deepest truth, if just for tonight
(No one may notice you but the walls)
Hear the deepest truth, if just for tonight
(And I sigh as the room sighs)

36 Stars from Poets.com

I can relate to that feeling.

Hmmmmm, it’s like I’ve read this somewhere before =D Hope youre doing well, punk. Ttyl.

March 11, 2005

this peom was boring i’m sorry, way to long and repeatitive, no meaning that i could find, your wording is good, but it is boring to read Reviewed by tell

Boring…what were they on! this piece speaks of great respect or love for someone and it shines through in your words, they are repeative abit but I didn’t find that to dampen the poems’ effect or take anything away from it. You have made an impact via your emotions and that is true poetry, I think this is a job well done-KB Reviewed by KB

Tried to write a poem and a novel popped out, eh? This poem had potential, but was far to long and boring Reviewed by brentdoyle

You did a nice job writing this piece. It flowed along very easily, and stuck to the theme very well. A lot of free verse sounds like prose to me, but this piece was done very well!! Reviewed by Joebirdies

It seems more like a song, with the chorus in between. Such admiration and feeling for the person concerned. It is wonderful when you can take asituation and let it flow. Reviewed by fauziahtahar

Basically a good poem The flow was there and the rhyme was as well but it does need to be a little more upbeat thank you for sharing Reviewed by Poeticloveangel

I think the poem was good, however it was a little drug out. I think if you were to take out some of the repeating phrases it would be an excellant poem. Thanks for the read. Reviewed by poetrymom24

Misspelled “passed” but again a nice piece.. Not as drawn in with this one as the others but still nicely done… Reviewed by Tina V

What beautiful words, wow, this poem really touched my heart. The wording is deep and stirs something within me, yet I just cant put my finger on it. Perhaps the mysterious person you write of. What eva it is, I loved it. Keep writing Rory, you are very talented. Love to you Silent Truth Reviewed by Silent_truth