starting fist fights versus fences

This week has been hell at work. I absolutly amazed that I am still standing. Tomorrow is Friday, THANK GOD! If tomorrow was Thursday, I would probably take Friday off. It has just been so much and so intense. I called Mike on Tuesday, I think it was, hoping that he would be able to come up and see me, but he couldn’t. He had said maybe tonight. But he worked in Montauk today and he was staying the night out there. I didn’t want much from him, I swear. I just wanted to see him. Nothing would have happened because of the time of the month. Which is really ok with me that we don’t fool around. But I really needed to see him…..Actually not really him. Almost anyone would have been ok. This week has just been horrid, I mean really bad. I’ve never cried this much at work. When I did, it was usually cause my dad was being an ass, but this time it was actually work related. I hate it.

What I hate even more is the fact that I wanted to see Mike. That I almost needed to see him. And although I tried not to let it on to him, I was pretty upset when I found out I wouldn’t see him tonight. And this weekend I probably won’t see him because he’s taking his sister skiing. I understand, I really do. Tonight he was too far away. And it’s his sister. He’s gone for four to six months every year, so he tries to make it up to her when he is here. And I totally get that. I really do. And I don’t want to be a pain in the ass to him, but I really wanted to see him. I just needed him to come and hold me for a little while. And he couldn’t. I’m not blaming him. I’m blaming the situation. But whoever’s fault it is, the situation still sucks. I don’t want to talk to someone on the phone, I don’t want to IM or email, I want someone here to hold me. Preferably someone who actually cares about me, not someone doing it for pity’s sake.

Its so pathetic. I’m so pathetic. I refuse to turn into one of those girls who needs a guy to make her happy.
The only problem is I want him here. Now.

Well I can’t regret,
can’t you just forget it?
I started something I couldn’t finish
And if we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means

And I’ve got a twenty-dollar bill
that says you’re up late night starting
fist fights versus fences in your backyard
Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor
Soaking in sympathy
from friends who never loved you
nearly half as much as me

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don’t believe me when I tell you
it’s just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don’t believe me when I tell you
it’s something unforgivable…ohoh

Well I can’t regret,
can’t you just forget it?
I started something I couldn’t finish
If we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means

You never knew
well i never told you…
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, it’s true
I’ve never done it with the style and grace you have
But I’ve made long term plans
based on these mistakes

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don’t believe me when I tell you
it’s just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don’t believe me when I tell you
it’s something unforgivable

Is this what you call tact?
I swear you’re as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
so let’s end this call,
and end this conversation
there’s nothing worse…
(that’s right he said, that’s right he said it)
I swear, you have no idea
The jealousy that became me thinking
(that’s right he said)
that you always had it way too easy

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don’t believe me when I tell you
it’s just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don’t believe me when I tell you
it’s something unforgivable

Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve

Best friend means I pulled the trigger!!!
Best friend means you get what you deserve!!!

There’s No ‘I’ in Team ~ Taking Back Sunday