She is dead

So evidently I’m missing. I guess I’m hiding from people better than I thought I was. There is a rumor circulating that I have gone off and killed myself. Manny all the way in Savannah has been involved. Thank goodness he stopped it before it reached Settle. This is crazy. I’m not dead, contrary to popular belief. And no one has been calling me, except Manny, to see if I’m ok. No messages no emails. Just rumors of my passing. That pisses me off. Can’t people call me and ask me what’s going on before telling people, like my father, that I’m missing. He called me from work, all confused. “I know where you are. You are at home sick. But evidently everyone else thinks you are missing.” Great.
I thought about calling the random people who I heard were asking about me and telling them I was fine. But I only called Manny. He was the only one thought rationaly enough to call me. And for some reason, I’m still mad that she cares. She has lost that right, and especially lost the right to find Manny and tell him I’m missing. If she was so damn concerned, she should have called me herself. I’ve done enough with trying to sort things out with her. I’m not going to keep crawling back on my knees to have dirt kicked in my face. I don’t even want her crawling in the dirt. She just needs to get enough courage to call me herself.
Danielle needs to stop overracting too. From what I can gather, she is kinda the one who started this, but Dad did mention that Kaba had called Heather, so she’s to blame too. I had talked to Kaba two nights ago. She knew I wasn’t dead. Why didn’t she call me and ask me herself? Or better yet, go to my house and check it out?
I don’t need people like that around me. I need people like Manny and Brian and Russ, who will be concerned, but be realistic and smart about it. I’m realizing how immature the people around me are and I’m sick of it all.
Even some of the people at work are really driving me crazy with the stupid immaturity. God, just grow up. The biggest lesson I have ever learned was something from my dad. “You don’t have to like everyone, but you have to work with them. They don’t have to be your best buddy or go to the bar with you after work, but you need to treat them with respect and dignity in the work place and just get the job done as painlessly as possible.” He is so right. You don’t have to be friends with everyone in the world. No one is expected to. But you can show them respect and dignity afforded to any human and get the job done with civility and polietness. People like that tend to “play well with others” and get a reputation for getting a job done without making enemies. Some people in my office though are just acting petty. And its not just one side acting this way. One person will do something and they other feels they have to relaliate and snip back. It’s like watching two cats hiss and growl at each other but never really go all out. Both of these people claim they are working with the utmost respect and civility. They act so self-righteous. But I watch it all happen and both of them are acting like children. If someone snips at me, I’ll swallow it and act like sugar sweet pie. Then that other person looks like an idiot and a baby for snapping at me. Occassionally I’ll snip at someone, but I try hard to keep it in check.
And the one girl, needs to learn how to dress appropriately. I mean I don’t care what people want to wear when they are hanging out with their friends but in a work environment, especially one that is old-fashioned, you need to look nice. And there are some actual rules as to what you can and can not wear, like denim and corduroy and pants with jackets. It just kinda annoys me because people like her give my generation a bad name. This office is filled with elderly old-fashioned gentlemen who look at my generation and hear rap and guns in school and disrespect. I have worked for over 10 years here trying to change that image. To show them that we do have respect and can do a job. I’m not saying that my generation is perfect, none of them are. They all have their problems. But I was trying to break a stereotype, and in one fell swoop, she was able to destroy EVERYTHING I have worked so hard for. It just adds to everything else that is annoying me of late.
And I know I’m complaining, but thats what this diary is for. Its for my venting and complaining and bitching and feelings that I can’t do to people’s faces because I’m too nice. So don’t leave me stupid notes telling me not to complain, cause they are annoying as well.

Wow am I in a bitchy mood or what?