I only curse when I’m mad

That’s it. I’m so tired of being nice and good. They call me a bitch so thats what I’m gonna be. I was hurting before, but this is just ridiculous. I’m so pissed off. They call me the fucking liar and whatever else and it just really ARG!. Heather is lying to Ali. And Ali is gossiping about me behind my back. I thought we fucking left high school. And for of all people Jay – one he’s an ass for saying I’m fat but thats another issue and two he’s an ass for not being more adult. God i hate them both. I don’t ever want to be their friends either. Heather is lying to Ali and that pisses me off more. Once again I’m betrayed by someone I thought wouldn’t do that. I swear to god if someone else betrays me I’m jumping off my porch. I don’t think I can take it right now. **breath** Before she didn’t want to be friends. Well now the tables have turned. I don’t want to be friends with someone who lies and twists everything I’ve ever said. I’m so tired from staying up late last night and now…forget it, I’m way too pissed to sleep. I can’t believe this. I really can’t. Its like beyond my comprehension how FUCKING STUPID people can be. How immature they can be. I thought we graduated from high school. And whats worse is that the entries were written for me to see – so I would read them. Well, they got their fucking wish. And their other wish about me leaving them alone is also going to come true. I won’t leave casey and trevor and puppies and mommy and daddy though. They still love me. I think Casey does want me and Heather to make up. But unfortunately thats just not gonna happen. I don’t want to be friends with her. I was willing to work things out one day with her and try to be friends again. But not anymore. I’m not so egotistical to say that one day she’ll realize what she lost. Cause one – I’m not such a great person evidently and two – I don’t think she’ll ever realize that. And thats just how its going to be. I don’t feel right now that I’ve lost anything but something I really don’t need to deal with. I don’t need to deal with her stupid high school crap. I’ve moved on more than they have obviously and I’m not going back, like she has. I wonder though. Jay is such a jerk and I really want to teach him a lesson. He needs to grow up. Oh wait. He wants to be j no period, not capitals. What an ass.
But in the morning
on the sober dawn of Sunday
you’re not sure what you have done
Who told you love was fleeting?
Sometimes men can be so misleading
to take what they need from you
Whatever you need to make you feel
like you’ve been the one behind the wheel
the sunrise is just over that hill
the worst is over
Whatever I said to make you think
that love’s the religion of the weak
this morning we love like weaklings

the worst is over.