Whistling for a Kiss

Ok – I’ll admit it. I’m obsessed. I’m driven. I’m going mad. I can’t concentrate on anything else. I like my box, but its suffocating. Everything I think of reminds me of him. Makes me think of him. Brings another ache in my heart. Makes me again wish he was around. Makes me want him here. Or me to be there. I just want to feel his arms around me and hug me. I want to see his eyes. I remember the times I’ve made him cry. I can see him so clearly. I can see how much he cared. Does he still care? Does he feel the way I do or am I really going mad? I remember feeling him pull me closer in for a kiss or a hug. I remember him sitting in his car and whistling for me. And thinking he had something else to say I went back. But all he wanted was a kiss. I remember him watching me play in the dark church. Eric. He did that too. He’s always there, too. Whenever I’ll let him be there. He is there. And I can feel his presence. Or rather I feel God’s presence in him. I know he’s praying for me. I know he cares. Is he the one? OK – thats not the point, but… There is this big hole in my heart. I wonder if all of this is just lust or what it is. OK – must go to band – UHG! McN ruined band for me. I MISS MY TIM!!!!