anything to keep me breathing

You wrote me an email, the letter you should have sent.

It tore my world apart. A world that was already falling apart at the seams. How do you always do that? You make me so mad at then I realise losing you is the worst thing in the world. I want you back. And I want you gone. You are not for me. You are for someone who can appreciate you and love you the way you are. I love the way you are. But you are not for me. You called us crossed souls. And that is true. You can read through the cold computer messages into my heart, and my innermost feelings. We have so much is common and so much difference. How can two beings be so? The music we share, but yet, there is music you do not understand. My music. I don’t share it easily. And you never pushed. But I did. I pushed and pushed hard. And now you are gone. Russ says we will never be just friends, although we may both want that. We are lovers forever. Lovers who can not bear to be together. It will destroy us both. Isn’t that ironic? Our love kills us. Its like a drug we are both addicted to. Without it we can’t seem to really live. Yet with it we are destroying ourselves. No matter how hard we try there will always be tension between us. It will never be as relaxing and as comfortable as we want it to be.

I’m sorry it has to end. But if it doesn’t, I will die.