Missing Maggie Cage

“Yes, risk-taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking.” ~Tim McMahon
 
I miss Maggie Cage. I sat at my desk Sunday night painting my fingernails wishing that she and I still lived together. I miss how we would sit around and watch films like, Zoolander, and just bust up laughing. How, when we ordered Chinese food, she could never talk to the person on the other end of the phone. Waking up in the morning to find the pantry rearranged. Pulling myself out of bed at four in the morning to go to the bathroom only to find that she still hadn’t gone to bed. I miss Maggie Cage.
 
Manny and I talked Sunday night. It was the first time we’ve really talked face to face since the break-up. We’ve talked on the phone a few times, and it was nice. I had left-over pizza from the committee meeting, so I brought it to the office with me when I clocked out. We stood around and ate pizza, talked, and just took the piss out of each other. I asked him if he ever wondered if he hasn’t done enough in life compared to other people. He looked at me like I had snakes growing out of my head and told me that I was getting old and that’s why I was worrying about this. There’s more to this question, but I’ll go into that later. I realize why I fell for him, he truly is a fabulous guy. I am lucky to have dated a man as wonderful as him. I am thankful that we are still friends and that there isn’t any weirdness between us.
 
Angel came back on Saturday night. I didn’t make plans to go out because I didn’t know when she would get in and I wanted to be there when she got home. She got to our flat around 7 that night with her friend. Angel, her friend and I all talked for about an hour and then she went over to her host family’s house. She asked me if I had to work that night. I told her that I didn’t. She looked relieved and told me that she didn’t want to spend the night alone in the apartment. I said not to worry and that I would be there when she got back.
 
When she came back we watched Dirty Dancing. She had seen bits and pieces of it and she recognized Patrick Swayze from Ghost. We joked around about the movie and I tried to make things as normal here as possible.
 
We both decided to head to bed a little after midnight. I sleep with door closed, but I told that if she needed anything just to knock on my door that night. I passed out and woke up to find the living room light and hallway light on and her bedroom door open. I closed her door because I didn’t want to wake her making my breakfast. She didn’t ever sleep with her door open until now. Last night she went to bed before me and I asked her if she wanted me to leave the hallway light on, she asked if it would bother me. I told it wouldn’t, that my door would be closed, but if she needed anything she could wake me up. I wish there was more I could do for her.
 
Today I’m going to try and book my flight to Boston to visit Big C. Hopefully everything works out and I am able to get there on the day and time I want. I am planning on spending Saint Patrick’s Day with him. It’s bound to be fun. I can’t wait to see him and I realize that I do miss that crazy fool.
 
I start my internship on Thursday and I am looking forward to that. I’m quite nervous, but I think it should be fine. It’s been touch and go lately because something came up at the hospital that I am suppose to be doing this at. However, things finally got settled and they are ready for me. So excitement city there.
 
Going to read, book my flight and perhaps, watch Chocolate.