The Breakup

“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.” ~Marcel Proust
 

Manny and I ended it tonight. I wasn’t surprised, but I am saddened. However, I knew this was coming. Thankfully, he is an incredible guy and I have some phenomenal friends.
 
He came over for the evening, like we had planned to hang out. When he arrived, he gave me a Christmas present. It is hard to describe but it is a little holder from India. I think I’ll be putting my rings in it. Then we sat down and tried to decide what to do for the evening. While trying to come up with ideas, we decided to play Gin Rummi. This is typical for us, we both like this game and we play it quite frequently at work.
 
During the middle of the game I spoke up, “Do you realize that we don’t have a lot in common?”
“Yeah.”
“Just curious if you realized that or not.”
 
Which lead to us discussing our relationship and how it is not going anywhere. He asked me what I wanted to do about it. I said that there was nothing that could be done, he isn’t happy and I agree that our relationship isn’t going anywhere. I was crying a little, but I told him that I have great memories of our relationship and that I hope we can remain friends and that it doesn’t affect our friendship with the guys. He said not to worry about that and things would work out. He also informed me that if things got too tough, he would be there for me. I thought that was quite funny and cute in a way.
 
He said that he was willing to leave then, but he would prefer to stay to make sure things would be fine. I was fine with him staying. However, what was my reaction to make the situation calmer? I decided to make tea. Like we needed cups of tea at that point in time. Thankfully Manny was a real sport and he said he would take a cup. We had jasmine tea and talked for a little while.
 
After talking for about 30-45 minutes, he headed home. As he was leaving, I teared up again, he informed me again that if I needed anything or if things got too hard, that I could call him and he would be there for me. I thought it was sweet. He hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and left.
 
I called Pate when he left and sobbed on the phone to her. She told me to come over. She and I hung out for two hours and talked about the whole thing and other things in our lives. I felt a lot better once I got that cry out. We joked and had a good time. After two hours there, I headed home. I know this is going to be hard to get over, but I think it was good that we both realized that things aren’t working out. The fact that we ended it as friends is very helpful to me and I think we will manage. There might be a few entries where I whine, but I think that is okay. It is a part of moving on. I do have great memories of our relationship and I don’t think I would change anything.
 
I head home tomorrow, which will be good for me. I need to spend some time with the family and relax. I only wish Sherlock would be there, alas that won’t happen. I hope everyone has a great holiday and I’ll try and read journals soon.