daylight

December 5, 2011

the things I should’ve said

So I’ve been looking back through the years, reliving every night out, every crush, every disappointment, heartbreak, every bit of butterflies. Dates, phone calls, waiting for the phone to ring. The getting ready, the anticipation. The everything. The love, and there was quite some love in there.

There has been so much fun in this reliving. I’m so damn pleased that I wrote every morsel in here, even when my bravado makes me cringe or my thesaurus-laden paragraphs make me want to retroactively smack myself. Because its seriously been fucking delightful, to slide back into my 20’s.

And I looked so forward to reading the steps leading up to Eric. The twists and turns of our first days, the how’s and why’s. I remember so much but have forgotten so much.

And then it’s not there. It’s hardly in here, our beginning. Sure, there are a scattered few mentions but they are veiled, and not thinly at that. And I’m a little bit crushed. Because I have the beginning of every other insignificant boy in here but not my husband.

Do you know we’ve been together now for almost 9 years? Married for 4 1/2 of those? It’s crazy. And yet I have nothing in here from when we began and I wish I could turn time around to remedy this from the start. I kept so quiet for the wrong reasons, it turned out. Too much was expected of me, demanded of me, by someone who hadn’t any right to expect anything.

So maybe I’ll start now. Start here. And write the beginning of us.

You guys met here on OD, right? If memory serves…

I remember the picture of your shoes. And the picture of you two. So cute. 🙂 Glad you’re around and well.

Elaine Benes

December 6, 2011

Yes. Please!

It’s nice to have you back.

i am so sorry. so so so so sorry. i have no right to request this, but i STILL feel so guilty and don’t want to start receiving backlash yet again, so could you please, please pretty please not make mention of anything in regards to me. you’re right. i had no right to expect anything. but even saying that, i know people will start making mention of me in notes. i am begging you. please.

and by the way…i am so glad you are writing again. whether it is just a photo or anything. i have missed your entries so much. i wish i could turn back time and do so very many things differently.

The Big U

I remember the shock I got the first time one of you posted a picture of the two of you together. It was a complete surprise to me that you were a couple. You had done a very good job of keeping it under wraps. Perhaps too good a job based on this entry.

Lys_Messi

You should write it so you will remember it.. and get all the butterflies and good feelings back years from now!

I look forward to reading it. 🙂

colige_grajuit

Yes, please do! And tell that husband of yours we’re waiting for an entry from him, too. 😉

scrpbookr

It’s never to late to start writing again!

Its not your beginning that really matters, but the ending. I can still see why you would want the beginning though. It should be nice to write it all down.

Analene

I would love to hear the beginning of you and Eric and Max

someone

December 7, 2011

I’d love to read that. I mean, I knew things. But yeah… I’m really so happy to see you in bold around here lately. I hope you stay!

RealSimple

December 8, 2011

I look forward to reading it.

MRS

Yup, I remember the reveal and the surprise. At the time I read him more than you

CameraSnob

December 11, 2011

I found you on random, and I completely love this entry. I am adding you to my bookmarks! =D

Please do.

Someday Girl

January 12, 2012

I remember 🙂 I don’t write anymore, but I still keep up with a very few favorites. It’s amazing, isn’t it, what was born from this site? Congratulations to you guys…I love that you wrote again.

Used.to.be

February 3, 2012

That would be fun to read and good for you, I suspect. At the time, though, you did the kindest thing for her, which says so much about who you are. It’s your story to tell!