Avon Barksdale and bitchiness.

Most food can be made better with citrus. A hint of lime, a hearty dousing of proper lemon juice or all sorts of techniques and amounts and presto: much better.

The best show on television currently is Breaking Bad. The best television ever, of all time, no exaggeration, is The Wire.

There is a whole hell of a lot of vanity in making a child of your own.

It is awesome to see ‘Chris Partlow’ on Nurse Jackie. Now if only ‘Avon Barksdale’ could show up on The Killing. No, wait, The Killing was only good the first four or so eps…. Eh, nevermind. Hopefully you get my analogy. And if you don’t, none of this makes much sense anyway.

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Ok, time for me to vent. Because I’m a hormonal bitch and I’m annoyed with various things.

One? People who say “its worth it!” In response to me mentioning anything about my pregnancy that isn’t completely positive.

Let me first say: don’t ask me how I’m feeling or if I’m having any un-fun issues then! Simple. Because you’re bound to get an answer in which I list one ailment or uncomfortable thing. Which, hey! I don’t do that often or in vast quantities!

Generally speaking I’m having a pretty damn great pregnancy. Nothing has gone wrong, no complications, hardly any bad symptoms. Just a few minor irritations, like bad backaches and such.
So don’t ask how I’m feeling with all the third trimester stuff. Because you’ll get a response like: “pretty good, actually! Peeing 11 times a night isn’t fun and I’m getting pretty heavy now but I really can’t complain.”

To which prompts the reply: “hang in there. Its all worth it!!”

Really, jackass??? Is it all going to be worth it?? Thank fuck I’ve got you to remind me of that because here I was thinking this was utter shit and screw this baby having thing because dammit, my ailments are obviously the only thing that matters! So, really, though? A baby will be worth it? I might just be glad I did this and actually enjoy this new little human? You don’t say!

I want to punch these people.

Know who else I want to punch? The ones who start sentences with “just you wait…!”

just because pregnancy, childbirth and raising of babies is a universal experience does not mean I want to hear your unsolicited thoughts on the matter. Jesus fuck. Yes, I get that you have a kid and have been through what I am currently experiencing -to a certain degree, mind you- but I don’t recall asking for your cluck-cluck passive aggressive, I know better, competitive-ish “just wait till _______ happens!!” with the muted condescending-slash-know it all tone. I get it! Back off.

Unless you and I have established closeness that exempts you from annoying me in any given situation, then don’t try to school me on what’s to come or ways in which my kid will behave, according to you, unless I ask. Its obnoxious and reeks of insecurity. Because, really, its about you. Not me.

Ok, I feel slightly better. I’m going to go take the rest of my annoyance out on some ice cream now.