My Grandfather – Daddy-O

My earliest memories of my Daddy-O were when I was just a little kid. He has always been a big grizzly bear, lovable but yet somehow grumpy a lot of the time.

I did not understand about working Midnight shifts and needing to sleep during the day. Many times he would come barreling out of the bedroom growling for us to keep it down and not to be running up and down the halls. But what are toddlers supposed to do? It was in our job descriptions to make noise. It was what we did best!

Daddy-O has lead a multi-faceted life. Husband, father to six kids, Auntie Anxiety being his number two daughter, Auto factory worker, and politician. He was a founding father of Sterling Heights, MI and even served as the city’s Mayor for 8 years.

I remember helping out on his campaign trail by rolling fliers to stuff into mailboxes. I even served as a witness to a marriage ceremony he preformed. When I had turned 18, it was my Daddy-O who took me to register to vote and who took me to the polling place to cast my very first vote. I never did tell him I voted for the other presidential candidate. (Shhhh don’t tell)

When I was 11, before I moved to northern Michigan, he and my grandmother took on the daunting task of taking my sister and me on a trip to see relatives in New York and Pennsylvania and also and Niagara Falls. For a whole month they took us in their car and we had such a blast!

After he retired from both the factory and politics, my grandparents moved to that small town in Northern Michigan where my family had moved to. They had a nice huge house. The kind that looks like it came right off of the front of a Christmas Card. I would go over and hang out with them allot. My Grandmother and I became very, very close. She joined an Adult Education Conversational Spanish Class I was teaching just so I would have enough students to hold the class. I tried to convince Daddy-O to join – but he would not hear of it. We did have fun on Class nights, even though he did not join the class because I would come over for supper and we would have a really good visit.

I moved away from Michigan in 1989. I did not see my Daddy-O for a very long time. We would exchange cards and mom would keep me updated on how he was doing. He came to my wedding in 1995. And we danced, and laughed and cried. I did not see him again until my Aunt C (his sixth child) got married in 1999. He had aged quite a bit but he was still sharp as a tack. He shared stories from his life with DH and I. Spoke of things politics and life. Once again we laughed and cried. He came down to Florida to visit us the year before last. He got sick with pneumonia and ended up in the hospital for a week. He and my Aunt N (his fifth child) extended their vacation so we would have some time to actually visit. We went to St. Augustine and on a boat ride on the St. Johns River at Blue Springs. We had a great time.

This year has not been a good one for him. His memory comes and goes. He had fallen and ended up in a nursing home then was moved to a group home, where he was being really uncooperative and he fell and his head went into the wall. He was moved back to a nursing home. He was doing much better, although in a lot of pain, and things were looking pretty good for him. Mom told him about my baby and he has been very excited about it. Another Great Grandchild! It really seemed to perk him up.

Last night, while we were walking down Main Street admiring all the bikes, my sister radioed on the Nextel and asked DH to call her at home. So he did. All I heard him say is I will take care of it. No problem. When he hung up I asked him what she needed. He said that Daddy-O fell out of bed at the nursing home and broke his neck. They were going to take him to the surgeon first thing in the morning. He said not to worry too much because if they were waiting to take him till the morning, it may not be that bad.

This morning at 6am Mom called. Daddy-O had been to see the surgeon and after they talked it was decided that they would not do the surgery. See his neck is broken at C3. In order to do the surgery he would have to be put in a Halo Collar and that would entail having to have several holes drilled in his head for the collar to screw into, then once that was stabilized he would have to have the surgery on his neck. The surgeon said at his age he would not make it though all that. So with the joint decision by Daddy-O and the surgeon that the surgery would not be preformed, they put the neck brace on him and sent him back to the room.

With a break at C3 – if he moves his head the wrong way, he can end up paralyzed and/or loose all vital functions. So Daddy-O told my aunts to tell everyone he loved them, and good bye he did not want to live in pain anymore. He keeps trying to take off the neck brace.

We are getting ready to take my mom to the air-port so she can go back up there to see him. I cannot make the trip. But I have been crying all morning. My family was really worried about how I am taking this as I totally freaked out when my grandmother died in 1987. I am doing ok. I am crying allot and I am very sad, as well as wishing this was not happening. But I am not having a breakdown like I did then. As my mom said – he has not passed on yet. He is pretty doped up on morphine. It may not be totally as bad as my Aunt N made it sound.

I asked her why they did not have the bed rails up. Mom said they cannot use them anymore as it is considered a restraint. She believes that he did not roll out of bed – but was sitting on the edge of the bed reaching for his shoes when he fell face first. He has two black eyes, a broken nose, a large bruise on his forehead and the break at C3 in his neck.

Please keep my whole family in your prayers.