My son
Dear Diary,
I haven’t felt like writing much because I feel quite sad. I am trying not to think about things too much but life blood is life blood.
It’s the wedding….my son married someone who is not nice. She is keeping my son away from me. The wedding was strange and everytime I went to my son she would come and get him. I know it is him too because he needs to stand up for himself and deal with reality. I did not raise him to be this way but I suppose it is what it is. I am surprised he married someone like this.
She is not even nice to her own mother. I hugged her at the wedding and welcomed my new daughter and she stepped back and said, " NO, DAUGHTER IN LAW!!!" I was shocked and dismayed.
I rarely get to see my son anymore since he has been with this one. It really hurts.
Why we choose the people we choose is beyond me. I frankly don’t like her and I really didn’t the moment I met her. She is cold and selfish and thinks mostly of herself. She takes out her blackberry and lets me know what weekend day they can "fit" me in.
I know this sounds cold on my part but I really don’t want this marriage to work out. She is NOT good for my son. He is the only family I have (my mom too) and it hurts not to have him in my life.
Young adults today do not respect or listen to their elders. The don’t understand that you need family to support their relationship. I am leaving them alone right now and hopefully things will change one way or the other. Yesterday was his birthday and he wouldn’t even answer the phone for me to wish him a happy birthday.
I have no clue what happened other then two years ago on mother’s day things changed. He called me up to invite me to Washington’s Crossing Park in Pa. He said he had a surprise for me. I was so looking forward to this surprise. I went and he had prepared a gourmet picnic all set up when I got there. It was great. The food was wonderful. After lunch they took me to a flower show which his then girlfriend was bored with. She did do a lot of moaning and groaning about how tired she was but I ignored it because I was having fun. My son and I used to do these things all the time.
Then he suggested we go to New Hope to walk around which we used to do a lot. I was thrilled but girlfriend wanted to go home so I walked around New Hope alone. After that mother’s day things changed. I hardly heard from him and visits have been brief if not at all.
How can you love someone and keep them away from their loved ones? I feel like crying a lot lately and I am hoping this feeling goes away and I get him back. I feel like I am grieving.
She treats her own mother like crap too. Her mom is really great and I really like her. She told me that her daughter is not good for my son and I do agree with that. I just hope he wakes up one day before they have children. I do hope they do not have children and I really would love to have a grandchild but if it is with her I will never see it anyway.
She wouldn’t let me have anything to do with the wedding and she kept her own mother away from preparations too.
It’s just weird and I am sad.
I keep busy and have good friends but it is not like having your family…I feel so alone sometimes…
Me and my son talking to the minister
LYB
Peace
i do hope your son soon realizes how much he’s hurting you by staying away from you. take care,
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This is so sad. I hope it resolves.
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I’m so sorry. I hope your son wakes up and sees he needs to pay attention to his mom.
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I totally understand. My one DIL & I had issues this year, but I am lucky in that she is really a nice person..we just misinterpretted one another. If you check back to sometime afer 2/6/08..I wrote about it somewhat. But point is..I understand this hurt. IMHO, stay yourself & just love your son as best you can. Just wait. He obviously loves you & you just don’t lose that love. He’s trying to makeit in this world & with a partner, but one day the newness will wear off & he’ll see where he went wrong & he’ll be back again. I’d say don’t be cold but don’t chase after..just be your constant self & open..to love & forgiveness. You don’t have to ever like her..& she sounds like a nasty person with issues for sure. If she treats her own mom that way plus her own mom said she wasn’t good for your son..well..proof it’s NOT YOU. Just realize, your son has not lost his love for you; men do silly stuff sometimes for their wives/girlfriends….& usually they wake up after a while. Let’s hope that he does. Keeping you in my thoughts..for this to resolve….xoxo
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There will come a point where he realizes how important you are to him. I’m sorry this is happening to you:(
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I am so sorry this is happening to you. I have seen this type of thing happen time and time again. I know it is easy for me to say, but you have to let go and live life for yourself now. It is only natural you want your son to be in a happy stable relationship. From what you describe his new bride is anything but mature or stable. If I were so good about relationships I’d be in one… which iswhy I normally keep to myself in such matters. It does not appear there is much you can do in the matter except to be there for your son when he approaches you. It has been made pretty clear his wife does not want you involved in their lives…..
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ryn.as i wrote in my entry, it is there house they bought it this week, thanks for your compliment by the way. Try to get on with your daughter inlaw, after all your son loves her!
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I probably watch too much Dr Phil, but you are in a no win situation over this. She is immature. Your son will love you always. I think not aggravating the situation is important. There have to be good parts becasue your son loves her. Be positive. Look for the positives. Thinnk about ways you might have a bit of time with oyur son that won’t inconvience her but give you some son mom time.Remember as teachers we can be very strong personalities. Maybe she hated her elementary art teacher? Don’t dig yourself a hole. However you can complain to us any time right!!!
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This reminds me so much of my (now former, thank God) daugher-in-law. She was so immature and selfish and did everything in her power to keep him all to herself and her little world. When they came her twice a year (a mere 10 miles from their house) she would sulk. After a while, it finally started to get to him. She got MS, which was a tragedy, but added to his stress, and they ended up getting..
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…divorced, and I was secretly thrilled. He’s a much better chooser of girlfriends now, but he was so burned that he doesn’t want to get married again.
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There is some wonderful advice up there. I can only add that sometimes those kind of wives grow up and sometimes they don’t. The best thing you can do is stay out of it. Don’t make your son choose. I bet that someday he will have had enough…..selfish people usually lose in the long run. AND, this girl is selfish!!!!
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If you raised him in a certain way, it should come through eventually. Sigh! I’ll say some prayers.
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