Cocaine Schmocaine

You know, I think that there will be a time when I will actually be able to move out… leave all the drama there is at home…

My father is doing cocaine again. We think it’s over. We think he’s doing better. Someone actually says it though? If the words "No, really, he’s doing better." come out of my mouth or my mother’s mouth… that’s it. It’s like he has some radar inside of him that can identify that phrase so that he’ll fuck up again.

My mother kissed him before the wedding they went to on Saturday night and she could taste it. Then… THEN he asks her "Well, do you want some?"

My mother with the artificial heart valve and the continual heart problems. Oh yeah, that’s real good. Fucker.

I don’t know why I’m writing about it. He didn’t even act guilty about it. He says it helps him lose weight. Well fine, but it also gets you addicted and screws with your brain. Last time you were on cocaine you threatened to kill not only my mother but my sister as well. Yeah, it’s real good for you.

AND THEN the hypocrite says: "I hope Teresa’s not doing drugs." because she ran a little short on money this month. The girl is working her ASS off working 12 hour days to make ends meet. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. She’s not doing drugs. You are. So stop criticizing her for something you’re fucking doing yourself.

I hate him.

I say that sometimes and I think, No I don’t… But really I do. I do I do.

*sigh*

Ok. I’m going.

I want to go home and watch Firefly. I need a Jayne fix.

Hope everyone has a great week.

*hugs all around*