Attention Male Readers of this Diary:

I need advice. (Actually … this is open to anyone who wants to give advice… but mainly Sunil, Broomy, Will… any male readers of my diary – please let me know how you would feel…)

Ok, so this blind date, DW – he wants to meet me at a restaurant of my choosing on Saturday night. I want you to imagine you’re in his shoes.

Would you be completely offended if the girl asked to bring along her friends? Last time I did the blind date thing the guy ended up being a freak and I’m a little worried (even though he and I have talked on the phone) I still don’t KNOW this guy, you know? Also? I tend to clam up quite seriously when affronted with new people even if I’ve talked to them a gazillion times (Actually an old diarist Honeythorn can probably attest to this as I’ve a tendency to clam up on the phone as well – it takes me awhile to warm up.) Also? FOUR YEARS since my last date. I’m just nervous in general.

So, the question is: would you be offended if the girl brought along her friends to a blind date? I’m just curious. Also extremely nervous. I know it’s a good thing to actually have a date but right now all I want to do is climb into a hidey hole and pretend that I don’t exist.

I know I have a kind of social anxiety thing but geez. Really really nervous.

Gah.

Anyway. I could use some advice. Am I being stupid? Should I tell my friends not to come?

*sigh*

I’m going to go beat my head against the wall.

Mr. Broom

January 12, 2005

That’s a toughie, on account of I don’t know that you could call it a date if you bring your friends. You could, perhaps, change the venue, make it something less formal, like coffee, and spend time getting to know one another in a setting that feels less date-y. You can, of course, invite your friends, still. It’s really just a matter of what to call it. Or something. Dating’s weird.

Polter-Cow

Yeah, my forehead wrinkled at the prospect of bringing your friends on a date. But I just had an idea: tell him to bring a friend too. I think if you explain your reservations, he’ll understand. And this way it’ll be balanced, and he won’t feel like he’s on a date with you and your friends, but that you’re on a date and there are buddies around for comfort.

MistressRally

I agree with Broom. I keep thinking I should have some other advice for you, being a girl and all, but dating is really weird and I don’t actually do it very often. I can’t even remember the last time I had a date, I more just crash into people. Perhaps your way is better.

Kuralux

Hm. That one is rather tough. I think Broom has a thought there. I know I’d probably feel a little odd if it were called a ‘date’, yet extra people came on the opposite side. Maybe if you’re just looking for some extra security, have a friend come to the same restaurant.. maybe sit a few tables away.. so you have a quick and easy exit as needed. Just a thought.

cheese1973

First dates make people nervous whether it’s been four years or four days since your last date. Bringing friends along would probably be a bit of a let down for him. A restaurant is a public place – if he turns out to be a creep, it shouldn’t be that difficult to get out of the situation.