And She Appears

Hey. You guys doing alright? I have wanted to post in here, but cant seem to get the thoughts flowing. I thought just now, perhaps if I just start typing, they will come to me. Here goes.

Im doing ok, the depression has passed. I got off the Prozac..apparently it likes to make me have a psychotic break…so no prozac for me. Im back on the Lexapro as I’ve been for a few years now. No more switching meds. I feel pretty good. I took my 6 year old to my therapist with me to discuss why he’s been so difficult to get along with. He’s like every defiant child I suppose, but thought if he talked to the doc and released some of his feelings, he’d feel better. As suspected, the arguing J and I do upsets him alot. He doesnt like to hear us talk sharply to one another. My doc doesnt think there are any underlying behaviour problems. J and I had a long talk and we are working on getting along better….atleast in front of the children. Since Sean talked to the doc, he’s been doing better.

News in my professional life…it’s been interesting. I’ll start with telling you about M. He is an accountant and I met him a little over a month ago. One of the occupational hazzards with what I do is occasionally a client will "fall in love" with an escort. While its flattering that someone think you are  the best thing since toast, it can make things awkward. A true professional would not take advantage of a gentleman, who would most assuredly become so enamoured with a girl that they lose all sense of reality. A bad girl would milk it for all its worth for money, jewelry, trips….you name it.

M is a tall man, about 6ft 6". I am only 5 feet tall if you can imagine that. LOL. He is somewhat handsome, and with his Nordic ancestry is blond hair, blue eyed and very large-boned. We got along well…an element of my personality puts people at ease so he opened up to me about his relationship with his wife and lackluster sex life. I wish I had a psych degree since so many talk to me about thier personal lives. The first time we had a session, he brought me a dozen of the most fragrant peach roses. I never hint at gifts ever, but I was delighted that I received them. Its not often a girl gets roses ya know!

The second session was  just as nice…I feel compassion for him because he thought he was a lousy lover….something his wife told him. I can attest to the fact that he was not lousy. Just made to feel less than a man. He came to my door with perfume this time, beautifully gifted wrapped. I told him he didnt have to bring me anything….and thanked him for the lovely gift. He said he knows he didnt need to bring anything but since I was so good to him, he really wanted to.

Between our sessions, he’d call me a few times a day to see what I was up to. It’s somewhat of a broken law to talk to clients off the clock (it can blur the line, so to speak) but I have a handful of clients that I am "friends" with and we call back and forth to say hey. It works for me because some of them have been faithful clients for a year. Weird arrangement, I know….but some girls truely get close to their clients. I’m whats called an ‘independent’ escort (as opposed to the ‘agency’ escort…) so I am my own boss. As my own boss, I can make my own rules up. LOL.

Anyway, I was noticing tho that M was developing real feelings for me and I was struggling with what to do about it. I knew I needed to make myself clear that I am not looking for a relationship (NEVER AGAIN!!)  The "rules" in this business is when a client develops an unhealthy affection for an escort, a smart girl will cut them off totally and completely. So, after receiving a rather panicky email from him about his feelings for me and what to do with them and how did I feel about us….we did have a serious heart-to-heart. I told him I liked how we were now and was not able to give him more of myself than I already do. He understood that and seemed to accept that. He was also struggling with some guilt issues about seeing me and so forth. I talked to my best friend about it and of course she clarified what I already knew….tread lightly and talk to him about all of it. He was also paranoid about his wife finding out somehow.

We had our last session this past week. His feelings had deepened for me. He called me later that afternoon to tell me his wife found out about "us". He thinks hadnt enabled his archive on yahoo or something..I really dont know how she found out, but….when he got home she asked how his day was…he said fine, that he had a meeting, She then said….Did Kelly enjoy the meeting? He was floored. She told him to leave and that he would be hearing from her lawyer. He called me from the hotel to tell me she knew. Let me remind you, we were not having a relationship, I am an escort and he employed me for my services..so this is sounding like it was an affair…and it wasnt. After an emotional talk with me, he had a hellacious night that night. He missed his little girl, fearing the worst that he would lose her in a custody battle.

He asked me what I thought he should do. I told him I am not worth losing his family or finances over. Damn, this had never happend to me where a client had been caught by his wife. I’ve read about it happening on the discussion boards, but I dont think anything prepares you for when it actually happens. Im glad I didnt get a CALL from her. Christ. Anyway…he called the next day to say he was going home, that she said he could come back. He has promised counseling (I hope she gets help too…it takes two to tango and thats what has led to thier marriage collapsing…they were having problems for years way before I came along. He is going to be living a miserable existance. He will not be allowed to be alone. She took his puter out of the house. When I talked with him, he said he would not be able to see or talk to me anymore. He said he wanted to work on things (this still sounds like an affair!!) and talking to me would harm things. I totally respect that…I dont want to be a homewrecker..geez.

So, lost a friend and client. I hope things work out for them. I truely do.

Everything else has been great…my client base is still growing. Made some new "friends" last week. A great guy from Philly…his name is R. Oh my I do like the northern boys with the accents. Also, there is S. He is a tall, dark-haired young man with the most lovely green eyes I have ever seen. He likes older women. He’s….27!!  I’m 38. Holy moley I feel so OLD! LOL. But I do like him, see him about once a week or bi-monthly. A young professional…self employed. He’s dreamy. I wont talk about his penis. Oh my. LL

I stopped seeing clients in the evening and on weekends. Not that I did it that much but you know…I dont like being away from my kids, especially at bedtime. Its the best time to be with them…laying in bed talking…kids grow up so fast and I dont want to miss a thing.

Well, that about sums it up. How did I do?

<font size=”2″>Ive had enough of this summer weather. Too fricken hot.