A diary.
So there’s the sexual desire, which is strong and feels great, and my desire to be her friend. Oh Gosh I don’t know how to do this. We decided not to hang out today. I’ve also tried not to talk much on the phone with her. I don’t understand balance. I only understand on or off. I don’t know how to do this. What’s the truth? How do I do this?
Months ago, in the first page of a new notebook I bought for school, I wrote, “I want to pursue you, and I like Amber.” Something like that. Pursuing God comes first. And I lay my feelings for her at his feet, his feet which have holes in them. Be a good friend. I talked to her at 4:00 and it’s been 4 hours only. O lord. Please change my heart.
why dont you just ask her out? :p
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Best of luck
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Maybe it would help to find some other things to fill your time. So you aren’t able to think about her so much. Just a thought.
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i am not an expert on the topic but i gravitate towards buddhist quotes because it contains wisdom on the idea of balance and sometimes being self-less. i know how to be self-less but i often struggle with balance of feelings, emotions, wants, needs, boundaries. i don’t so much struggle with others boundaries nowadays but i sometimes do not know how to put firm boundaries around myself. too much or too little of anything is unhealthy. and being i struggle with chemical imbalance and manic depression- i am always teetering with being off-balance. it is hard work but you can learn to separate yourself from your emotions and thoughts which can in turn change your actions or reactions. it is a challenge but you can do it. it doesn’t occur over nite. it is day by day, step by step. and it takes time and a lot of patience. i have been working on this for two years. you have to learn to objectively look within yourself and make a conscious decision to change. if you can understand your feelings/thoughts, you can learn to change the way you react to a situation. in the end this means a healthier happier more peaceful you.
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in buddhism- they teach that desire is destructive. as hard as that is to hear, i think that is probably, more often than not, true. that is a struggle for me. i am a very passionate heart and soul. and passion is often derived of desire. the two feed off each other. i wish you the very best.
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