Into the Wild.

Strength to Jesus is humbling yourself. I feel vulnerable with Amber, but it’s kind of cool. I’ve always reacted to it as if it’s a bad thing, something that needs fixing — because it makes me feel weak. But there’s no greater feeling — allowing yourself to not be in control, opening yourself up to being hurt with hope that you won’t be.

We all get hurt. I like being vulnerable. It’s not something I’m going regularly do. 🙂 But, it’s worth it right now. I think what’s strange for me is I’m praying to be strong in my vulnerability. When I’m vulnerable I tend to shut off my emotions, I tend to not talk very much, I guess in hopes to hide it all. So to ask this girl out tonight, I have to be confident, I have to have hope. That means I can’t shut off my emotions. I have to let go. I have to be willing to be utterly embarrassed.

Is that vulnerability? Is that the definition? Please Father, my good God, you who have power over all: give me the strength tonight to be open.

And, thank you for all the ways you’ve been growing me.