Ugly-head.
So this is what bothers me: how naturally serious I am. I have a good sense of humor, but most of the time I am probably quiet inside.
I’m not naturally an entertainer. I entertain when the situation “calls for it.”
And I can’t see how anyone could like someone who isn’t entertaining. Who’s quiet. I feel trapped by my need to entertain to be loved. In all honesty, what I want is the freedom to be as quiet as I want. I feel so messed up because I can’t accept myself and I can’t ever tell whether I’m being myself or acting and I don’t when is the right time to not be quiet and because of that, it’s a lot harder to judge if I really like someone else.
I’m afraid to be sad, because “people won’t like me when I’m sad,” or at least what I think is no one wants to date this. Friends, obviously if they don’t want to be my friend because I get sad, that’s dumb, but I hold girlfriends to be different? Don’t I want a friend in a girlfriend?
I’m afraid to be sad, I’m afraid to be afraid, I’m afraid to be anything but self-reliant.
I’ve got to go for now. Jon.
(I found you on random) We’re all human, being sad from time to time is just part of being human. How would we know what it really feels like to be happy if we didn’t also know what it feels like to be sad? Friends, good friends, friends worth keeping around, will still be your friend if they see you sad from time to time. Same goes with girlfriends, if they’re worth keeping around, they mightactually try to make you feel better when they see that you’re sad.
Warning Comment
It is a wonderful moment in a relationship when you realize you can be quiet together or sit at opposite ends of the couch and read a book without words needing to be spoken. No one really wants someone who feels the need to entertain them all the time. Serious conversations can be very compelling, too. I hear you on the self-reliance. I am very, “I can take care of myself, thank you very much.” Sometimes that tendency makes us miss opportunities to share our lives on a deeper level.
Warning Comment
it is important to be yourself. whether happy, sad, scared. holding your feelings inside disallows other people to know the real genuine authentic you. i think human beings are flawed. the ones who pretend to be otherwise [perfect] are not being real with themselves or with the closest people around them. good friends accept you for who you are. be yourself. from being yourself comes authentic friends and real love. trust me.
Warning Comment